The lost angel
by everythingcas
Summary: Destiel Angel!Dean. Human!Cas. AU: In which Castiel is a priest with an amazing ability, he can hear angels. This causes problems, and he ends up getting banned from his local church. His life gets pretty strange, pretty quickly. He meets Dean, an actual angel... Rated M for later chapters ( Sex, swearing, blood and violence...Basically all the good stuff)
1. Chapter 1

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER ONE**

**I don't own any of these characters etc.**

**Trust me, future chapters will probably be longer. And probably better. I'm just really bad at beginnings. **

Father Zachariah was standing behind his desk, giving Castiel a threatening look. ''This has gone too far, Castiel.''

''Father Zachariah, the angels have spoken to me. I must obey.'' He answered. It was honest and short, but it wasn't what Zachariah wanted to hear.

Suddenly Uriel, who was standing in the corner watching the event, spoke. ''You claim that they have chosen you, Castiel. However, you do not speak for God anymore... We are to follow the Bible, not what you think the angels have told you. This has gotten way out of hand, Castiel. Do you honestly expect me to believe we should allow same sex couples to get married in our church? Do you honestly think that it's God's will?''

Castiel sighed heavily. ''I understand this is hard for you to believe, but it is the truth. Father Uriel, you have to trust me. The angels speak to me in my dreams, they have told me what is right and what is wrong.''

''And why would the angels choose you? I run this church! I am older and wiser than you. You should show me some respect!'' Uriel yelled, slamming his fist down on the desk.

''Careful, that is mahogany.'' Zachariah mumbled. He then sighed before turning to look at Castiel again. ''I'm sorry it had to come to this, Castiel, but I have no other choice… Your days as a priest at our church are over…''

Castiel looked down, staring at the floor. He didn't dare meeting their gaze right now. He cleared his throat a few times, before saying ''I understand.'' Then he left the church he'd worked in for over a year, feeling rather terrible.

~.~.~.~

Castiel slammed down on his small, black couch. He rubbed the back of his head in frustration, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness. He closed his eyes to pray, like he always did when times were difficult.

''I don't understand.'' He admitted. ''You let me hear things… You let me hear the truth, but no one will ever believe me. Help me, father, I just lost my job… How am I supposed to speak in your name? How am I going to make a change? How will I make them understand? Father, please…'' He let a tear roll down his cheek as he sighed. He leaned back, allowing himself to fall asleep on the couch. Dreaming about his past and how he'd ended up as a priest…

_~._~.~.~

''_When does father come back?'' The little boy with the messy hair wondered. He looked up at his older brother and sister, staring at them with his big, blue eyes. He was 5 years of age, but brighter and more mature than most children. Hester, the sister, leaned down to match his height. Sighing as she stroke his cheek. ''Father isn't coming back, Castiel. We are on our own now.'' Inias, the brother, ruffled the young one's hair. ''Don't worry, we'll be fine...''_

_~._~.~.~

He woke up a few hours later. It was raining and thundering, and it was really dark outside. Which was odd, considering it was in the middle of June, and it had been a sunny summer so far. He yawned a few times, rubbing his eyes as he stretched his legs out. His back hurt a little, perhaps sleeping on the couch hadn't been his best idea.

Suddenly there was a loud noise and a bright light, held his hands up in front of his face. The light was way stronger than the lightening could have been, so when he looked up he wasn't sure what he expected. One thing was for sure, though. He'd never expected to see a man, standing in the middle of his living room. He gasped as he realized the shadows behind his back looked like wings. Almost fainting as the man said ''Hey, I'm Dean. An angel of the big guy upstairs .''

_~._~.~.~

Dean studied the guy, Castiel. He'd expected him to be scared, or at least a little worried. Most of the priests he'd met had fainted. Then again, most priests he'd met were uptight dicks, and they refused to believe someone like him was a soldier of God. This Castiel guy was different though, or at least that was what he'd heard. He was one of the special ones who could hear them, so at least Dean didn't have to explain the whole 'angels are real' thing. Castiel stared at him a little, before finally speaking. ''Y-You really are an angel of the lord...'' He said, as if he had to assure himself.

''Yeah, I am. This is just a vessel, though. My true form is much more badass.'' He grinned widely, running a hand through his hair. ''You're probably wondering why I'm here. Well, to be honest I'm not sure myself. I'll get the orders later, but all I know now is that I'm here to protect you. Apparently you're very important.''

The priest looked up at him with big eyes and asked ''Me? I'm important?''

Dean chuckled, patting his shoulder lightly. ''Yeah, I mean, you can hear angels right? You're pretty damn important, Castiel… Just don't know why yet…'' He walked over to the fridge, getting himself a beer. ''So, any questions? Like, do I have to prove that I'm an angel or do you just believe me? Most people don't, probably because they expect me to be much more uptight and holy.'' He shrugged, removing the beer cap and taking a sip.

Castiel tilted his head in confusion, which made him look a little like a lost puppy. ''I did expect you to be different…'' He admitted. ''However, I am not ungrateful. You are an angel of the lord, so I shall not question you. I trust our lord to choose only the best, so I shall believe you.'' He added quickly.

Dean laughed at how formal Castiel was. Yeah, he could probably put up with this guy. ''Okay, Cas. I'm gonna' call you Cas, if that's alright.'' He sat down in the couch, and Cas followed him eagerly.

''Of course, Dean. You're allowed to call me whatever you like.'' Cas said, smiling slightly. ''Could you tell me about heaven? Wait, I apologize. That was inappropriate, you don't have to answer that.''

''Hey, I don't mind. You wanna' know about heaven? Well…'' He paused. ''It isn't just one, happy heaven. Each person has their own heaven, which really just consists of a bunch of good memories. That's the easiest way to explain it.'' Dean took another sip of his beer.

''That seems lovely. Though I suppose it could get lonely after a while… Not that I'm one to judge our father's creation.'' Cas sighed softly. ''I'm terribly sorry to say that I'm not a priest anymore. If I was, I would be able to help a lot more… Besides, not many people actually believe that I can hear angels…''

''Yeah, I heard. Too bad they fired the only good priest they had.''

''Oh, I don't know about that…'' Cas mumbled shyly. The guy was clearly embarrassed, it was almost adorable. ''The other fathers may have been a little strict, but they love our lord very much. ''

''If you say so…'' Dean shrugged. ''But like I said, you're important. And those sons of bitches are gonna' regret they ever fired you. So, how about your family? Do they believe you?''

Cas furrowed his eyebrows, staring down at his hands. ''I never knew my mother. My father disappeared when I was only a child, and I do not speak with my siblings anymore…'' He froze for a second, clearly re-living his bad memories.

He looked up at the angel again, with a forced smile on his face. ''It's getting rather late, Dean. I think I should go to bed. I know angels don't sleep, so…'' He wasn't sure if he should ask him to stay or not, after all, he probably had way more important duties in heaven.

Dean waved a hand ''No way, my order was to stay here and watch over you. So that's what I'm gonna' do. I'll see you in the morning.''

''Goodnight, Dean.'' Castiel said softly, before disappearing into his bedroom.

''An angel… An actual angel...'' Castiel had to say it over and over again. He still couldn't believe an angel was walking the earth to watch him. He thanked the lord a million times before finally falling asleep, feeling happier than ever.

~._~.~_

_Five years after their father had left, Castiel had a confession to make. He was only ten years old, but he knew himself well enough to tell his siblings his secret. He was never the same after that day. ''Father would not have liked this, Castiel. You know very well it is considered a sin.'' Hester had said. ''You are only ten, you are not thinking clearly.''_

_Castiel had tilted his head as he sighed. ''Sister, I am certain. I know this is who I am, why does it bother you? God loves all his creations, does he not?'' _

_Inias hadn't said anything. He didn't have the guts to argue with Hester, his older sister was very stubborn. However, he didn't want to hurt his little brother._

''_I have no choice but to send you to a therapist. I only want what is best for you, Castiel. I want you to be clean.''_

''_Inias, please… Say something.'' Castiel had begged him. _

_But Inias only turned his back. ''Listen to your sister, she knows what's best for you.'' _

_~.~.~_

**I'll update as soon as possible! **


	2. Chapter 2

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER TWO.**

**So yeah, I wrote this on an airplane, and I'm pretty happy with the result. The guy next to me actually happened to be a priest, so that was awkward… Anyway, here's part number two. And the drama begins…**

Castiel loved mornings, and every day he had the same routine. He'd wake up at six. Do yoga for about 30-40 minutes, take a 15 minutes long shower, and then get dressed. He'd have a balanced and healthy breakfast and drink at least two glasses of water. That way he always felt happy and full of energy, ready to face the day. The rest of the day he'd spend at the church helping people, or at home writing a speech for Sunday.

However, this day his alarm clock didn't wake him up. The bright light did. He sat up in his bed, yawning and stretching his arms out. He soon realized the bright light was actually the sun- but the sun was never up this early. He found it odd, especially since he wasn't feeling like he usually did in the morning. He felt lazy, dizzy and still tired- Which meant he'd probably been oversleeping for hours. Once his eyes had adjusted to the bright light, he wandered into the bathroom, activating the hot water of the shower and hopped in. He was feeling way too tired to do Yoga, he'd probably just collapse on the floor if he tried. After the shower he went to get dressed, and he didn't even bother putting on one of his suits, now that he wasn't going to the church. Instead he pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a black V-neck, which was a little too big for his body.

He was not prepared for the sight that met him in the kitchen. Not at all. His small, old fashioned kitchen had been switched out with something much more modern and clearly expensive. It was black, white and silver. Dean was sitting on the marble kitchen bench, eating a bacon cheeseburger. ''Hey Cas.'' He grinned with his mouth full.

Castiel gaped, trying to figure out what to say and how to react. ''M-My kitchen...'' Was all he managed to stammer, looking at Dean for answers.

The angel finished his burger quickly, letting out a small burp. He jumped down from the kitchen bench ''You like it? Your kitchen was kinda' old fashioned, I figured this new one would suit you better.''

Castiel cleared his throat as he approached his new kitchen. He let his fingers run over the cold, but beautiful marble. He let out a soft sigh, he'd always wanted a kitchen like this. The angel was standing with his arms crossed and a satisfied smirk on his face. ''I knew you'd like it.''

Yes, He'd enjoyed the gift. However, it was too much to ask. ''Don't get me wrong, Dean. It's wonderful, but I have nothing to give you in return.'' He mumbled, staring down at his feet. It was clear that he didn't want Dean to take the kitchen back, but he'd only feel rude if he kept it.

Dean raised his eyebrows. ''Don't give me that crap. You want it, and I want you to have it. It's a win-win situation. Besides, it looks like I'll be staying for a while, so I might as well make you like me.'' He snapped his fingers, another burger appeared. It was a healthy version of Dean's own burger, with more salad and tomatoes. ''Here's your breakfast.''

A smile spread across Castiel's face, he could feel his cheeks turn into a light shade of red. ''Thank you. I appreciate it, really, but you don't have to get me material gifts for me to like you.'' He chose to accept the burger. It wouldn't be the end of the world if he skipped his healthy breakfast one time, right? They both sat down in the living room to eat, the new kitchen had taken a lot of space, and his table and chairs were gone. He didn't mind, though. He looked over at his watch, and nearly choked on his food. ''Oh Gosh, it's already eleven! I normally wake up at six, but my alarm clock didn't work this morning.''

Dean chuckled, patting his shoulder lightly. ''I know. I removed your alarm clock on purpose, 'figured you needed a few hours extra sleep.'' He explained, shifting uncomfortably under Castiel's glare. ''Hey, don't look at me like that. It's not like you have any work to go to today, and no sane person wakes up at six at a Saturday.''

''I didn't get to do any yoga this morning…'' He mumbled, continuing to eat his burger.

''Yeah, well, sorry about that.'' Dean rolled his eyes. ''If you're so friggin' bothered by me I guess I could just ditch your ass and go back to heaven.''

Castiel immediately regretted what he'd said, and hurried to make it right again. ''No! I apologize, I didn't mean to sound so ungrateful. It's just- I don't normally oversleep, and I feel a bit odd, I guess…''

''Woah, relax, it's cool.'' Dean patted his back friendly. ''It's not like I could ditch you anyway, dad would kill me.''

No matter how annoying Dean could be, he definitely knew how to make him laugh. Which was a good thing, very few things made him laugh.

Just as he'd finished his burger and Dean had washed his plate just my touching it, someone knocked on the door. Three hard knocks. He turned to Dean and froze, suddenly remembering his plans. ''That's Meg Masters, I have an appointment with her.'' Meg was… Well, saying she was his friend wouldn't be correct. She wasn't a member of the church, but her father wanted her to talk to a priest about her problems. And she had chosen him. She was a very hard person to talk to, and she seemed to be more interested in flirting than to actually have a heart to heart conversation.

Dean shrugged. ''Yeah, so?''

''_So_ you need to go for a while, or at least make yourself invisible. She isn't too good with people...''

Dean sighed as he made himself invisible, he was way too curious to leave. Besides, he needed to check if Meg was safe. For all Cas knew she could be a vampire.

Castiel opened the door with a stiff smile, and as always Meg walked right past him. Ignoring his 'Please take your shoes off' as she slumped down in his couch, smirking as he got his bible. ''I see you upgraded your kitchen, hot stuff. May I ask why?''

Castiel sat down next to her, looking down as he responded. ''Uhm… I just wanted a change.'' He'd never been a good liar, and let out a relieved sigh when she let it go.

''A change, huh? Well, I didn't come here to talk about your kitchen. Let's get to the good stuff.'' The smirk remain on her face as she shifted to sit closer to him.

''Right.'' He replied coldly as he opened the bible. ''What I think we could talk about today is Mary Magdalene. I think you can relate…''

Meg raised her eyebrows and huffed ''What? You mean the hooker everyone except for Jesus hated?''

''Exactly. She was a prostitute. Everywhere she went people threw rocks at her, while they shouted the words 'Sinner' and 'Abomination'. Jesus saw her for what she really was though, she was hurt. Deep down she was really just a broken girl, trying to do her best.''

''Oh, that's real sweet, but I don't have those problems.'' Meg rolled her eyes.

This was usually always how it went. He tried to talk to her, she pushed him away. It was rather tiring, and he found it extremely annoying. However, he wouldn't give up on her. Deep down she was a nice girl too. At least he hoped so.

Dean swallowed hard. Meg was a demon, a black-eyed and bitchy demon. Damn it! Of all the people Cas could be talking to, it had to be a friggin' demon. He knew he couldn't kill her, not yet. If he did, only more demons would find out about Cas, and he wouldn't be safe. So he just stood there, watching as the bitch pretended she cared. He needed to find out what her motive was…

''Sweety, could I borrow a few bucks?'' Meg asked, placing her hand at his thigh.

Castiel sighed, pushing her hand away. ''Of course, Meg. Here you go.'' She snapped the wallet from his hands, and he didn't see how much money she took. He let her take it anyway ''Well, Clarence, this has been fun. I'll see you next week.'' And with that she got up and left the apartment, leaving Castiel frustrated.

Dean immediately appeared in front of him, looking rather troubled. ''Dean, is there something on your mind? You look troubled.''

''Damn right I'm troubled. Cas, that girl you just talked to, Meg or whatever… She's a demon. A black eyed demon.''

Castiel gasped loudly, jumping in his seat at the word 'demon'. ''A-Are you sure?''

''Yes, Cas. She's a demon. Look, this is very important, I need to know exactly what you know about her.''

''She… She doesn't tell me too much, she enjoys having secrets. However, I do know the name of her father. Crowley.''

''Fucking piece of shit!'' Dean swore loudly, before disappearing. He left Cas confused and scared, returning five minutes later with news. ''I've made my brothers aware; they'll take care of it. Look, you can't talk to her again, okay? Crowley is… Well, let's just say we don't want him to find out how important you are. Father wants to remain what you are a secret, heck, not even I am allowed to know yet.''

''Oh… Okay, I understand. I will not speak with her again.'' He mumbled sadly. So that was why Meg had been visiting him, she didn't care about her own good. She didn't want to become a better person. She was a demon, a dangerous demon. ''This is all too much... I think I need to go find my inner peace.''

~.~.~.~

Castiel changed into his comfortable yoga clothes. He lit his aromatherapy soy candles, and turned the relaxing Asian music on. He started his session, but found it a bit annoying that Dean was watching him. He tried to ignore it, but it became very difficult. Dean laughed loudly at all the positions he made, and eventually he just gave up. He sighed, turning the music off, and blowing the candles out.

''Why are you laughing?'' He asked, tiliting his head.

''Nothing. Just- It look's kinda' weird.'' Dean tried to catch his breath again. ''But hey, at least you're flexible, right?''

''Yoga is relaxing, and it's good exercise for both my soul and body. It isn't, as you put it, 'weird'.''

''Whatever.'' Dean waved a hand ''Anyway, you should go get showered. We're going out tonight.''

''Where?'' Castiel asked nervously. He didn't go out very often, and hoped it was somewhere quiet and not too crowded.

''Oh, you'll see.'' Dean smirked.

~.~.~.~

Every time Dean was a little sick of his family fighting in heaven, he got into his vessel and went down on earth. This place, called The Roadhouse, served the best pie ever. And the beer wasn't too bad either. Sometimes he just got drunk, and sometimes he hooked up with people. Both men and women were beautiful creations, not as nice as the angels of course, but they were nice in their own way. So Dean ended up having a lot of kinky sex, with a lot of different people. Some of his siblings in heaven hated it, and found him disgusting for doing it. While others, like Balthazar and Gabriel, didn't see why he wasn't allowed to enjoy himself. It was nice forgetting about heaven for a while. And Cas, as the uptight guy he appeared to be, desperately needed to let himself go a little. He deserved that, after losing his job, having an angel move in with him, and finding out he'd been trying to help a friggin' demon,

''Ready to go?'' Dean asked, quite impressed with Cas. He wasn't wearing his suit, or his lazy sweat pants. He was actually wearing a grey ACDC shirt, and a pair of black jeans. If it wasn't for the fact that he was here to protect and watch the guy, he'd totally make a move. Cas got the whole innocent, but still mysterious and sexy look. But Dean needed to focus on his task.

''Yes… You haven't changed since you came here, perhaps you'd like to borrow some clothes?'' Cas suggested.

''No, angels don't produce sweat, and if I get a stain I'll just clean it off with my powers.'' Dean smirked. ''Besides, a brown leather jacket works for every situation.''

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in a booth at the Roadhouse. They were both eating the amazing apple pie, and the sounds Cas was making were very distracting. Dean chuckled as people started staring at them, raising their eyebrows.

''Geez, Cas. I know it's good, but if you keep moaning like that people are gonna' think I'm doing some pretty intimate stuff with my hand under the table.''

Cas coughed loudly, spitting pie all over the table. He wiped his mouth with his arm, blushing lightly. ''I'm sorry, I don't usually do this kind of thing. Go out and eat with people...''

. ''Oh, what do you do then? Watch Casa Erotica alone by yourself?'' He teased, with a playful smirk on his face.

''I don't know what that is.'' Cas said, doing that head tilt thing again.

''What? Seriously? So what do you watch when you're… You know, choking your chicken?'

That only seemed to make Cas more confused. ''Why would I choke a chicken? That seems like a rather cruel and strange thing to do.''

Dean laughed loudly. ''No! It's a metaphor… You know, bludgeon the beefsteak? Buffing the banana? Beating the bishop?''

''I don't understand your references.''

''Oh, for the love of my father...'' Dean sighed in frustration. ''Does the word 'masturbation' make any sense to you?''

Cas shifted uncomfortably in his seat, blushing like a school girl. ''No, I d-don't… I don't do that. I was taught it was a bad thing to do…'' He mumbled.

''Wow, are you being serious? Just, wow… '' Dean's eyes widened and he raised his voice. ''Wait, are you a virgin?''

''Please lower your voice…'' Cas rubbed the back of his head, looking away. ''I am not married, nor have I ever been married. So yes, I am indeed a virgin.''

''Uhm… You know God doesn't really mind sex before marriage, right? That's just something you homo sapiens came up with …'' Dean mumbled. He wasn't surprised though, many humans thought God hated sex.

''Yes, but unfortunately I didn't find out until I started hearing you angels speak. Which was six months ago…'' He explained, still blushing. ''However, I do not feel the need or urge to have sex. Some people may call it asexuality.''

''Uh, right… Sure.'' Dean grinned.

''Dean, I'm serious. I don't understand the purpose of sex anyway. I'm not interested in having children…''

''Okay, fine, no sex… But you should at least jerk off once in a while. The stick in your ass would be out in no time.''

''I don't have a stick in my anus, Dean .''

''You know what? I'm starting to think I'm more human than you.'' Dean ruffled his hair playfully.

''Perhaps that's true…'' Castiel smiled slightly. ''You angels, do you- er… fornicate?''

''You mean, do we fuck? Yes, kinda'… It's different for angels though, it's very personal and deep. You sort of bind your grace together in an embrace… Technically it's a marriage. That's why most angels have sex with humans.''

''That seems romantic.'' Castiel mumbled dreamingly. ''Have you shared your grace with anyone?''

''Me? No. This girl named Anael, or Anna, wanted to though. But I declined her.'' He shrugged. ''It's getting late, we should head back.''

~.~.~.~

''_Are you sure it's him?'' Meg asked. ''He doesn't seem too special.''_

''_Trust me, darling, it's him. Be patient.'' _

''_Damn it, Crowley! I've been patient for months. The guy's a soft kitten, couldn't hurt a fly if he tried.'' _

''_Have you forgotten who's in charge?'' Crowley snapped. ''It's your bloody job to find out what it is about him, which you haven't done yet. So find something useful, soon, or else I'll feed you to the hellhounds. Do you understand?''_

''… _Yes, Crowley, I understand. Just give me a week, alright?'' _

~.~.~.~

''_Hester.'' Dean growled. _

''_Dean. What are you doing here?'' _

_Dean ignored the question. ''What the hell have you done to him, Hester?''_

''_I'm sorry, what are you-''_

''_Cas! You and Inias were supposed to watch out for him, and you've totally given him the wrong impression of... Well, everything! Sex, for example.''_

''_We did watch out for him, Dean. And I haven't given him the wrong impression of anything. Isn't he a good man?''_

_Dean clenched his fists as he started shouting ''He's best damn man I've ever met, Hester. That's the problem. He doesn't act like a human being, he's... He's surreal!''_

''_I tried to protect him from emotions, Dean! I told him it was wrong to be attracted to… Well, anyone.''_

''_Why the hell would you do that? He's a human, damn it. He's supposed to have emotions.''_

''_He isn't human, Dean!''_

_Dean froze ''Huh?''_

''_I…I've already said too much. Find Joshua, he'll explain it to you.'' _

~.~.~.~

_**Don't be afraid to review! ;D**_


	3. Chapter 3

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER THREE**

**Warning: Castiel masturbates for the first time. Woop woop!**

**Oh, and another important character joins the story; The Impala. Couldn't write a fic without her**

**;-)**

When Dean finally came back to the apartment, after hours of trying to find Joshua, he was surprised to find Cas awake. It was three in the morning, and the guy was sitting in the living room with a cup of tea in his hand. When he appeared in front of him, Cas jumped in his seat and spilled the tea all over his t-shirt. Dean quickly snapped his fingers, and the t-shirt was dry again. He then noticed that Cas was holding a pillow in front of his crotch. Dean raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms. ''Still awake? Huh, I thought you went to bed early…''

Cas looked down on his hands nervously, shifting in his seat as he spoke. ''I did, but uhm… _something_ woke me up.''

''What did? And why are you holding a pillow in front of-'' Cas' cheeks turned into a whole new shade of red, he was clearly ashamed of something. He was holding on to the pillow like his life depended on it… Suddenly Dean realized what was going on, and he couldn't help but laugh. The uptight nerd was obviously hiding his erection, and it was too friggin' funny. Cas, however, wasn't laughing.

''You're hard aren't you?'' Dean grinned when Cas hid his face in his hands.

''I- I don't understand. This has never happened to me before.'' Cas stammered, still blushing.

''So, what are you gonna' do about it?''

Cas looked up at him, tilting his head like always. ''I figured I'd just sit here and wait for it to go away.''

''What? You can't be serious…'' But then Cas gave him a look that said 'Of course I'm serious, why would I lie to you?'. ''Wow, okay. Look, I know you said you're not into the whole masturbation thing, but you seriously need to take care of your problem. I'm gonna' go, so you can... uh, jerk off in peace.''

Castiel was about to protest, but Dean had already left. He let out a frustrated sigh as he entered his bedroom. This was wrong, he knew it was. He didn't want to do this, but apparently the problem wasn't going to go away by itself. So he didn't really have any choice, did he?. Next to his bed was a strange bottle, which he was certain he didn't own. He took a closer look at the bottle, 'Aphrodite natural herbal love lube'. He made a face as he read the note that was attached to it:

'_Have fun. Use this if you need it'_

_-Your angel and personal __sexologist, Dean._

Castiel was already having second thoughts. This was, after all, his first time doing something like this to his body. What if it hurt? What if he did it the wrong way? However, he chose to ignore his fear. Dean had told him it would feel good, and he trusted him. He began to undress himself, very slowly and very carefully. When he was completely naked, he lay down on the bed, closing his eyes. Saying that he was nervous would be a large understatement. He was shaking with anxiety as he took a long, deep breath. ''Relax, Castiel. You can handle this.'' He whispered to himself.

He chose to be careful, and decided to begin with his inner thigh. He was barely stroking it, but his skin was very sensitive, and he could already feel his erection twitch. It was almost painful how aroused he was. He lay there for a while, stroking and massaging his inner thigh, until all of his angst had disappeared. His eyes were still closed as he moved his hands further up to touch his erection for the first time…

Dean should probably feel pathetic, or creepy. After all, he was basically spying on Cas. It was completely innocent, of course. He just needed to check if he knew what he was doing, he felt a certain responsibility. Okay, that was a big fat lie. He was spying on Cas because he was gorgeous, and this was probably the only way he'd see him orgasm. He stood right in front of his bed, but of course Cas didn't see that. Or else Dean would have some seriously awkward explaining to do. The look on Cas' face when he found the lube was priceless, and Dean sorta' wished he'd use it.

He almost lost his patience when Cas spent ten friggin' minutes undressing himself, obviously nervous and anxious. However, it was worth it when he stood there fully unclothed.

His jaw dropped immediately. Cas was absolutely stunning, beautiful even. His body was muscular, but neat. He just looked so damn pure, and Dean could swear he was shining.

He grinned as he _finally_ began touching himself. He started with his thighs, and he was being a bit too careful in Dean's opinion. It took about five minutes before Cas dared moving his hand further up. Dean bit his lip as he watched him touch his cock for the first time...

''Oh!'' Castiel's eyes sprung open, and he let out a loud gasp. He'd barely just touched his erection, but the feeling had been overwhelming. It was shocking how much a simple touch could do. As he began stroking his penis, he completely lost it. He tried to hold back his moans, but it was impossible. ''Ohhh…'' He soon found out that the head was the most sensitive part of his penis. He gently rubbed his thumb over it, throwing his head back as he made satisfied noise in the back of his throat.

He didn't know when or how it had happened, but suddenly he wasn't just touching himself. He was having fantasies about someone. Someone with a playful smirk, and perfect lips. Someone with the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen, green as the forest. Someone who knew how to make him laugh again. He imagined him on top of him, kissing his neck and touching him with his strong hands. ''Mhm, Dean…'' He moaned.

Although the feeling he got when he stroked his penis was amazing, it wasn't enough. He needed more, a lot more. He turned around to lie on his stomach, letting out a soft sigh as he reached for the bottle of lube.

And holy crap, Cas was even more beautiful when he started touching his cock. The noises he made should be illegal, they were just too hot. Dean grinned as he watched Cas throw his head back, rubbing his finger over the head of his cock. It was already dripping wet, and all Dean wanted to do was lick it. And it sucked that he couldn't.

Then something weird happened. Cas' moans got louder and louder, and suddenly he moaned a name. _His_ name. Dean froze, wondering what the hell was going on. He couldn't resist the urge to read his mind, and he was pretty pleased with what he found. Cas was fantasying about him. Which meant two things. A) The lying bastard sure as hell wasn't asexual. B) He actually wanted him.

His grin widened as Cas turned around, reaching for the bottle of lube.

Castiel was too consumed with lust to be ashamed of what he was doing. He poured the lube over his fingers, spreading his legs as much as he could. He slowly let one finger slide inside of him, gasping at the feeling. It was pleasant, but he soon the discovered that he was very tight. He managed to push another finger in. He'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt, but the pain soon disappeared as he started stretching his entrance out. It was odd that two small fingers could do such incredible things to his body. He pushed his fingers further in, moving them faster and harder. He began rocking his hips back and forth, rubbing his penis against the sheets. It was mind blowing, and completely extraordinary. He kept on moaning Dean's name as he was getting closer to his climax. He cried out as he came all over his sheets, biting his pillow through the orgasm.

He didn't move, or get up to clean himself. He simply just lay there, panting heavily. After five minutes he'd fallen asleep, feeling more relaxed than ever.

Dean figured he'd do the guy a favor, he knew very well how it was to wake up in sticky sheets. He cleaned his sheets by a touch, and wrapped a blanket around him. Now that he knew for sure Cas wanted him, why the hell not sleep with him? They might as well have some fun while they were hiding from demons and whatever the fuck else wanted to hurt Cas, right? As long as there were no feelings involved, things would turn out okay. Cause' Dean was still an angel, and growing actual romantic feelings for someone was considered 'too human'.

~. ~.~.~

Castiel woke up naked, which he thought was odd at first, he never slept nude. It wasn't until he sat up, and felt how sore his rear was, that he remembered what he'd done. He gasped at the sudden memory, covering his mouth with his hand. Oh dear lord in heaven, what had he done? The fact that he'd stimulated himself wasn't that terrible, in fact it was considered normal by most people. However, stimulating yourself while thinking of an angel of the lord was a sinful thing to do. He'd never been more ashamed in his entire life, and he immediately regretted ever doing it. He hid the bottle of lube in his drawer, already deciding that he would never use it again. He then took a long shower, but no matter how much soap he used, he still felt dirty. And no matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was a disgusting and perverted sinner. He promised the lord that he would never think such sinful thoughts about one of his angels every again. He enjoyed Dean's company and he still wanted to be his friend. Therefor he decided to act as if nothing had happened; it was probably the best thing to do in this situation. He got dressed and entered the living room, not surprised to find Dean on his couch, eating pie. He sat down next to him, trying to act as natural as possible. ''Hello, Dean.''

''Hey, Cas. Have some pie.'' The angel handed him a fork, grinning widely. ''So, how are you?''

''I'm fine, I guess…'' He mumbled.

''Yeah, I bet you are.''

''Pardon?'' Castiel was feeling very uncomfortable. What if Dean knew? No, he couldn't. He simply just couldn't.

''You jerked off for the first time last night, didn't you?'' Dean smirked. ''So, was it great or what?''

''Uhm… It was pleasant, yes.'' He started eating, trying hard to not seem bothered by the question. ''However, I don't think I will be doing it again.''

''What?'' Dean coughed, spitting pieces of pie out over the rug.

''It just… isn't my thing.'' Castiel replied.

Luckily his phone started ringing before Dean could protest, or ask why. He rushed to answer it, and unfortunately he forgot to look whose name was on phone display. Which turned out to be a huge mistake.

''Hey, Cassie, how's it going?''

Castiel swallowed hard, looking over at Dean with panic.

''M-Meg. Why are you calling?''

''I was bored, figured I'd give my favorite person a call.''

''This is a rather inconvenient time to call, Meg. I uhm…'' He paused, trying to come up with an acceptable excuse to why he couldn't talk. ''I'm on a road trip, and I will be for at least a year. So I won't be able to help you anymore. Goodbye.'' He hung up and threw the phone across the room.

Dean raised his eyebrows. ''Wanna' explain what the hell that was about?''

''It was Meg. I just- I panicked, okay?'' He rubbed his face in frustration. ''Oh Gosh, she probably knows I'm lying. I shouldn't have picked up the phone. I shouldn't have said anything. What if I made things worse? Oh, no, what have I done?''

To his surprise, and fear, Dean placed a hand on his cheek. His heart started pounding in his chest, as the green eyes met his own blue ones. ''Cheer up, bud. You did great. She's gonna' think you're on a road trip, right? Well, actually, she's probably gonna' come over to see If you're telling the truth or not. So we better get going.''

''Get going? What do you-'' But Castiel was cut off by a finger touching his forehead. There was a bright light, and suddenly they were sitting in what appeared to be a car. And they were on a road.

Castiel gasped, turning to look at Dean for answers. ''W-We're in a car!''

Dean chuckled, speeding up a bit. ''Oh, it's not just _a_ car. It's a 1967 Chevy Impala, the most beautiful car there is.''

''But why?''

''We're going on a road trip, hun. Brace yourself for cheap motel rooms, junk food and awesome music.''

''May I repeat; _But why?_''

''Geez, don't get your panties in a twist. It was your idea anyway, so don't complain.''

''This isn't what I meant.'' Castiel mumbled, looking out of the window.

''I know, but here we are- So just lean back, shut up and enjoy it.'' Dean gave him a seductive wink, and Castiel found himself blushing again. Perhaps a road trip wasn't such a bad idea after all…

~. ~.~.~

_Crowley was torturing a demon named Ruby when Meg entered the cold basement_. _''Please tell me you have good news.'' He said. _

''_Wish I did Crowley, but the boy's gone on a road trip.'' Meg rolled her eyes._

_Crowley immediately looked up, spitting the words out as he spoke. ''You let him slip away?''_

''_I didn't 'let him slip away', okay? You try getting close to the guy, it's impossible.'' Meg raised her voice. ''When are you going to tell me why he's so important anyway? I deserve to know!''_

''_Sorry, darling, that's for me to know. Now be a good girl and find him! And don't think for one second you're irreplaceable.''_

''_But Crowley-''_

''_Go!''_

''_Fine.'' Meg replied, she didn't want to end up like Ruby._

~. ~.~.~

After spending the entire day 'road tripping' with Cas, Dean had learned two things.

1) Cas was completely oblivious to flirting.

2) He loved cheeseburgers even more than Dean did.

Seriously, it was starting to get a little annoying. Not the cheeseburger thing, that was actually kinda' entertaining. But holy shit was he naïve, it wasn't even cute.

At the diner, where Cas had expressed his love for cheeseburgers, Dean had been trying to foot flirt with him. Big mistake. Cas was too focused on his damn burgers, he didn't even blush. And when Dean wiped his cheek with a napkin, he'd given him a strange look.

''Dean, why are you wiping my face?''

''Cause' you just raped three burgers with your mouth, and now you got a stain on your cheek.''

''I don't need any help to wipe my face, Dean.''

''Yeah well...'' Then Dean had given him the best damn smile he got. ''Just want to take care of you, baby.''

And Castiel, as the innocent little kid he was, had tilted his head and frowned. ''I'm not an infant, and I did not sexually assault the burgers.''

''Ugh... Let's just get out of here and find a motel.''

They'd been driving for about ten minutes when Dean decided to give the flirting a shot again.

''_So, _tell me more about your first masturbation experience.''

''Dean, this isn't appropriate.'' Cas had replied coldly. He hadn't even looked at him. ''I already told you it was pleasant.''

''Come on, give me more details.''

''Why would I do that?''

''Maybe I want to know what you like.''

Cas had looked just as confused as he'd looked in the diner. ''I don't see how my hobbies are relevant to this, but alright. I like yoga, but you already knew that. I enjoy reading, especially the bible. However, I do not like inappropriate conversations about my masturbation experience. Are you satisfied?''

After a few hours they'd found a pretty crappy, but bearable, motel. Dean had made sure they got a king sized bed, but of course Cas didn't get the hint this time either.

''Dean, this is a rather large bed, I do not need this much space.''

''Yeah, but I figured I could join you.''

''Angel's don't sleep.''

''No, but… Ugh, just forget it.'' Dean waved a hand, sighing in frustration.

_Dean Winchester, get your arse here right now. _Perfect! Exactly what he needed right now, one of his damn brothers summoning him. ''Look, Cas. I gotta' go. Someone's calling for me, I'll be back soon. Kay?''

''Of course, Dean. Take your time.'' Cas answered, smiling slightly.

~. ~.~.~

''_What is it, Balthazar? I was kinda' in the middle of something.'' _

''_Yes, I heard. How's the seducing going?''_

''_Rather terrible actually.'' Dean rolled his eyes, speaking with a fake British accent._

''_Oh, don't be jealous, Dean. It's not your fault your vessel sounds like a cowboy and mine sounds like a classy gentleman.''_

''_What's the point of this, Balthazar?''_

''_I summoned you because Meg is looking for you.''_

_Dean raised his eyebrows. ''What do you mean; looking for us?''_

''_Do I have to spell it out for you? Crowley has sent her out to find Castiel. And you know how upset daddy would be if he got in danger.''_

''_Yes, of course. I understand. We'll be careful.'' He sighed. ''I'll see you later, you have my back right?''_

''_You're my brother, Dean. Of course I have your back.'' Balthazar smirked. ''Now go back to your pet. A little advice though; don't get too attached to him. You know you'll just have to give him away as soon as this is all over.''_

_As much as Dean hated to admit it, Balthazar was right. He got to get himself together, and focus on the real task. He was here to protect Cas, until whatever was supposed to happen actually happened. Then he had to return to heaven, ready for another task. Besides, now that the demons were definitely out to get him, they had to be more careful. He'd been blinded by lust. He wasn't here to have fun, or to go on awesome road trips with a friend. He'd already become too close with Cas, and he had to stop himself before he started develop feelings he shouldn't have. He wasn't human; He was an angel of the lord. So no more flirting. He needed to focus. _

~. ~.~.~

Cas sighed as he crawled into the big bed. He already missed Dean, even though he knew he shouldn't. He had already told himself not to have those thoughts about the angel, but it was impossible. The entire day he'd been giving him unnecessary touches, and adorable smiles. For a moment he'd actually thought… No, it just didn't work like that. It was inappropriate, and he was insane for even thinking an angel could want that. Want him, of all people. Besides, Dean should bond his grace with another angel. The lord would probably prefer it if they both found someone of their own species.

It didn't take too long until the angel came back, but he looked… different. He looked very troubled, lost in deep thoughts as he sat down next to him.

Castiel placed his hand on the angel's shoulder. ''You seem worried.''

''What? No, I'm fine. Totally fine.'' Dean mumbled, he didn't want to freak Cas out by telling him about Meg.

''Dean, if there's anything you-''

''Cas. I'm fine.'' Dean assured him. ''It's getting late, you should sleep.''

Castiel yawned. ''I'm glad you were the angel sent to protect me, Dean.''

''Uh, yeah, me too.''

''I mean it. You may be a little annoying, but you make me laugh. You're a good friend, and an extraordinary angel; A true sever of God.''

''Woah, okay. Getting a bit too deep there, buddy.'' He said, ruffling his hair playfully. ''Now sleep.''

And Castiel obeyed, falling asleep, feeling safer than ever.

~. ~.~.~


	4. Chapter 4

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER 4**

**I'm sorry this took so long. I've been really busy, and the internet has been down for days.**

Castiel was in deep sleep when he felt an earthquake. Well, it felt like an earthquake, but it was really just Dean. ''Morning, sunshine! Get up, let's go.'' He was shaking the bed furiously, obviously trying to kill him. Okay, that may have been an overstatement, but it was important for Castiel to get enough sleep. Anything under six hours was unacceptable. It wasn't healthy, and it left him feeling grumpy for the rest of the day. He sat up in the motel bed, rubbing his eyes hard. ''Was that really necessary, Dean?''

''Yeah. Sorry, but we gotta' go.''

Castiel frowned, turning his head to look out of the window. It was still dark. ''Dean, what time is it?''

''Four in the morning. Come on, we need to go.'' He said, furrowing his eyebrows.

''Four in the morning? Dean, that means I only got four hours of sleep! Do you know how important it is for humans to get enough sleep, I need at least six hours to function like a normal-''

''Alright, just shut up! Meg is after us, and we need to move quickly. So when you've stopped bitching like a baby, can we please just go?!'' Dean snapped.

Castiel froze. He'd never seen the angel so upset before, so angry. He was surprised Dean hadn't told him about Meg earlier, and it sort of upset him. He was to be protected, but he was not a baby. Nor was he ''bitching''- He was simply just questioning the angel. He deserved to know the truth about their situation, and apparently Dean didn't see it that way. He sighed in frustration, grabbing his bag when he got up. ''Fine.'' He said coldly, not looking Dean in the eyes.

Yes, the next hours were probably going to be really uncomfortable

~. ~.~.~

_Peter was working his morning shift when a woman approached him. She was really attractive, with round cheeks and brown curls. He flashed his best smile. ''Hello, how can I help you?''_

_The woman smirked, and Peter found himself blushing. ''I was just wondering if you'd seen my boyfriend. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, dorky…''_

''_I'm sorry, miss. I'm not really allowed to talk about other guests.'' He replied, and to his fear she started tearing up._

''_You don't understand!'' She cried. ''I think he's cheating on me, and we've been together for five years. I need to know if he was here. Please.'' _

_He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. ''Uh, I… Yes, there was a man here with blue eyes and brown hair-''_

''_Was he here alone?!'' She asked, cutting him off._

''_He was here with another man. Uh… Brown leather jacket, brownish-blonde hair, green eyes...''_

_He expected her to be even more devastated, but to his surprise she smiled. She dried her tears away. ''Did they tell you where they were going?''_

''_Uh, I didn't really listen to their conversation, but I think they talked about going to Kansas. I'm not totally sure, though.''_

''_Thank you.'' She was grinning now, looking really happy as she left. Way too happy, considering she'd just found out her boyfriend was gay. Of course Peter didn't have any idea what he'd just done, and continued his day at work as usual._

~. ~.~.~

Apparently Cas was the grumpiest douche alive when he didn't get enough sleep. Every time Dean looked at him, he was looking out of the window. And every time Dean sighed in frustration and turned his head back to the road, he could feel Castiel glaring at him like he was the devil. Which was the complete opposite of what actually he was. He sort of missed how admiring and impressed Cas had been when they first met, now he looked like he couldn't wait to get rid of him. Dean decided to break the awkward silence after two boring hours.

''Okay, when are you gonna' stop acting like I just killed your pet?''

Cas turned to look at him, obviously lying when he said ''I have no idea what you're talking about.''

''Oh, come on! And don't look at me like that, you know very well what I'm talking about.''

''That happens when human beings only get four hours of sleep. They get grumpy.'' He replied coldly, turning his head to look out of the window again.

Dean sighed heavily, trying hard not to consider smiting the guy. ''Yeah, I get it, you're tired. Heck, I'm tired. But a friggin' demon is chasing after us, so you might wanna' thank me for saving your ass. You know, instead of glaring at me like that.''

''You didn't even tell me about Meg was after us until this morning! How am I supposed to trust you now?''

That comment made him chuckle. Yes, Cas was a little funny when he was angry. ''How are you supposed to trust me? Geez, quit acting like a nagging wife.''

''You're not a human, you don't know how wives act like.''

''Yeah, well, you _are _a human. And you don't even have a wife, so just shut your cakehole.''

But of course Cas was too annoyed to shut his cakehole, so he just kept on going. ''Yes, but at least I'm not an angel trying to be human! Yes, that's right. You heard me. You may party, and fornicate because you think it's 'fun', but certain people actually take God seriously. I'm one of them. And I'm sorry you don't understand, but I happen to love our father very much and I know I'm not one to judge him- but sometimes I wonder how you can even be an angel.''

In that moment it felt like he'd been stabbed with twenty thousand angel blades all at once. Those words were the last he needed to hear, especially from Cas. He could feel the emotions, that weren't supposed to be there in the first place, bottle up. However, he couldn't break down like this in front of Cas. That was unacceptable. Instead he turned his gaze back to road. Focusing on the road. Apparently Cas noticed, because five minutes later he started to apologize.

''Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was-''

'' Don't think for one moment I've never heard anything you just said before, Cas. In fact, I hear it on a daily basis, from all of my_ lovely_ brothers and sister in heaven. So if you think you, a human, can hurt me by saying those things just… stop. Cause' you can't hurt me. Like it or not, I'm the angel and you're the dull human.'' He paused. ''You know… I thought we could actually try to get along, just for the sake of it, but I see now that it won't work. So just try not to make me smite you before all this is over, and we can separate forever.'' He tried to speed the car up, but soon realized it wasn't going to go any faster. ''We need to move quicker.'' He placed his finger on Castiel's forehead, and zapped them over to somewhere in Spain. Before Cas could gasp or protest, or ask where the hell they were, he touched his forehead again, making him fall asleep. He picked him up, put him on the bed, and wrapped the blankets around him. He sighed as he took off, leaving for Kansas. He needed advice from an old friend.

~. ~.~.~

''Good morning, beautiful.'' Sam kissed his pregnant wife on the cheek, handing her a cup of hot chocolate. She chuckled, wrapping an arm around his waist. ''I look awful, you moose.'' He planted a kiss on her forehead, patting her stomach gently. ''You look great. So does he.'' Then the doorbell rang, which was strange considering it was seven in the morning, and Ellen and Jo weren't coming over until noon. ''I'll take it.'' He mumbled. Out of old habit he pulled his gun out of the drawer in the hallway, taking a deep breath as he opened the door. He immediately dropped the gun, gasping when he saw who their mysterious guest was. His old friend walked past him, kicking his boots off as he grinned. ''Hey there Sam, how's life treating you?'' He closed the door behind him, pulling the angel into a hug. He eventually pulled out, smiling slightly. ''It's good to see you, Dean. But I'm a little startled, I mean, I didn't know you were coming…''

The angel just shrugged. ''I was bored, figured I'd stop by to see how my favorite humans were doing. So where is Jess?''

''In the kitchen. Come on, there's someone I want you to meet.'' Sam chuckled as Dean ran towards the kitchen, obviously excited to see her again. When he got to the kitchen, the angel was hugging (squeezing) his wife to death. ''Dean, stop it. We can't breathe.'' Jessica laughed. The angel let her go, furrowing his eyebrows. 'What do you mean, 'we' can't breathe?'' Sam walked over to his wife, running his fingers through her blonde hair. ''She's pregnant.'' He kissed her cheek. ''With a boy.'' Another kiss. ''We're calling him Dean.'' With a surprised expression on his face, the angel took a step back. His eyes widened, and he looked lost in thought. ''A-Are you serious?''

''Of course, Dean.'' Jessica smiled at him. ''Least thing we can do after what you did for us.''

''Thanks, really. That's… uhm, very nice. It's awesome…'' The angel mumbled, scratching his forehead. His expression changed from surprised to thankful, and from thankful to playful. ''Alright, enough with these chick flick moments, have you got some pie?''

Sam laughed at his attempt to not seem touched, but he saw right through him. ''Sure, Dean. Always have some around just in case you'll show up.''

~. ~.~.~

Castiel woke up after a few hours, feeling rather terrible. What he'd said to Dean had been awful, and completely not fair. Not only because it was such a cruel thing to say to someone he considered a friend; but also because it was completely inaccurate. He knew very well why Dean was an angel. He was loyal, brave, strong and a better being than Castiel would ever be. Unfortunately he'd been so caught up in the moment, he'd decided to hurt the angel. At least try. Because truth was, he'd been pretty hurt himself. He didn't think of Dean as just an angel anymore, he trusted him more than he'd trusted anyone in his entire life. He thought of him as his friend, and not just a guardian angel. So it hurt him when Dean had kept Meg a secret, like he thought Castiel couldn't take it. Like he thought he was a baby. Which was exactly what Dean had called him, a baby. And then a nagging wife, which was basically saying he was annoying and tiring. So yes, it hurt him deeply. Then there was the 'separate forever' part- the part that hurt him the most. He realized he didn't want to separate from Dean forever. He didn't want to lose the only true friend he'd ever had. He'd lived more with Dean in a couple days, than he had alone for many years. He'd laughed, and despite being humiliated and embarrassed a few times- he'd been happy. So what if Dean made fun of his yoga, and his balanced diet? So what if he wasn't what Castiel had expected an angel to be? He made him laugh. He made him smile. He'd introduced him to the pleasure it was of having an orgasm- And even if Castiel was never going to masturbate again, he knew what it felt like. At least he hadn't missed out on anything.

He definitely needed to apologize to Dean. So he got up, only to find out that he was alone in the hotel room. He didn't even know where he'd been zapped to, only that it was somewhere hot. And it definitely wasn't Kansas, which was where Dean had told him they'd go.

Sweat was dripping from his body, and he quickly pulled his t-shirt off. He found a bottle of water in the mini fridge, but he didn't drink it. Instead he poured it over himself, not caring about the mess he made. He lay down, shirtless, on his bed again. Sighing as he prayed.

''Dean, I don't know where you are, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. Do come back soon. Your friend, Castiel.''

~. ~.~.~

Just as Dean had finished eating Jessica's amazing homemade 'orgasm-in-your-mouth' pie, he and Sam sat down in the living room. As much as he loved Jess, this was something he needed to talk to Sam about. Alone. Sam was still suspicious to why he'd suddenly decided to drop by, and looked at him with that famous bitch face of his as they sat down in the couch. The tall man crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows. ''Why did you come, Dean?''

Dean chuckled, trying not to get emotional just yet. ''What? Can't I just visit you for the sake of it?''

''Dean, you always give me some sort of sign before you're coming. Besides, you seem different. Like you're worrying about something.''

''Right, uh…'' Dean sighed. ''Remember how my siblings were bitching about how I got too close to you and Jess when I helped you?''

''Yeah, of course I remember. You almost lost your grace. But what has that got to do with- Oh.'' The man paused, realizing the problem. ''You're afraid it might happen again, aren't you?''

''It's worse than that, Sam. I'm afraid it's already happening, I feel weaker. Besides, it's not like you and me. I mean, I love you like a brother, Sam. But with Cas… I dunno', it's just different. Kinda'…'' He looked away, unable to continue.

''Wait, are you trying to tell me that you're… You are, aren't you?'' Sam couldn't help but grin. ''Dean, are you in l-''

''What? No! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.'' He failed at an attempt to chuckle. ''You know me, Sam, it's impossible. I mean, it just doesn't happen. I'm not like that.''

''Not like what? We both know you're capable of having feelings, Dean. How is this stupid, or a bad thing? You have sex with humans all the time, how is this any different? I mean, I'm just assuming that you two-''

''Geez, we haven't had sex, Sam. I have way too much respect for him than to treat him like a one night stand, he's special.'' He put a hand over his mouth, stopping himself from saying even more embarrassing stuff. ''Uhm, I mean, just ignore that-'' He mumbled.

''Dean, are you even hearing yourself?'' Sam laughed loudly. ''Being in love is not a bad thing. I think it's great. Maybe you should consider telling him…?''

''Sam, you don't understand. Just imagine how the other angels would react if they found out, and God…''

''- God loves love more than anything else in the entire world. And when have you ever cared what your siblings think of you, anyway? Screw them, Dean, just go for it…''

''But, uhm… You know I'm bad at this, talking. You know I can't just be all Romeo and shit. It's not how I roll.''

He shot Sam a harsh glare when he started to laugh, he personally didn't find this situation funny _at all. _The human stopped laughing, placing his hand on Dean's shoulder. ''Sorry, Dean. It's just… You're being stupid, that's all. Look, I have to go shopping with Jess, and you should get back to Cas. And… don't be afraid of whatever you're feeling. Trust your emotions, okay?''

''You're such a girl, Sam.'' He rolled his eyes, but gratitude was hid behind that insult. And Sam knew that.

''Good talk, jerk.''

''See you around, bitch.''

~. ~.~.~

When Dean returned to the hotel room he found Castiel on the bed, shirtless and wet. Yes, he was literally wet all over, and a bunch of bottles were on the floor. If Dean wasn't still a little mad at him, he'd think Cas was hot. He'd think of how delicious his torso looked. Or how ready he looked, just lying there waiting for him. And he'd think of how surprised he'd look if Dean lay down with him. He'd probably blush and ask what Dean was doing, but instead of answering him he'd just silence him with a kiss and then-

But Dean was still a little mad. What Cas had said… It'd been horrible. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was hurt. Really hurt. Of course he couldn't let Cas know this, he didn't want to seem like a pussy. If Sam saw this, he'd punch him and tell him to just tell the guy already. But Dean wasn't Sam. He was stubborn, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna' forget what the damn guy had said to him. Even if he did, kinda' have some… some sorta' feelings for him. ''Hello, Cas.''

Castiel was asleep when he heard Dean. His eyelids flew open, and he gasped as he looked right up at Dean. He'd never really get used to his inconvenient ways of showing up and saying hello. However, he was grateful he was finally back at the hotel. He quickly got up from the bed, about to start apologizing when Dean started talking.

''Before you ask, I was in Kansas visiting an old friend.'' The angel said coldly.

Castiel tilted his head, trying hard not to sound bothered. ''You went to Kansas without me?''

''Yeah, of course I did. You wanted sleep, right? So you got it. I just needed to see him, nothing to flip your shit over.''

Castiel didn't know what bothered him the most. The fact that Dean went without him, or the fact that his other human friend was a _he. _He knew it shouldn't matter, he knew Dean was allowed to have all the human friends he wanted. But… Dean was here to protect him right now, not the secret friend of his. Why would anything be more important than him right now? What if Meg had gotten to him? What if there was another reason to why Dean didn't want to bring him along? What if Dean and this person actually had intercourse? ''Your friend… How did you two meet?''

The angel shrugged. ''It's not like it's any of your business, but his girlfriend was killed by a demon. Uh… And then he sold his soul to get her back, but the deal didn't go so well… Long story short, I helped him and he got his girlfriend back. They're actually married now. But like I said, none of your business.''

Castiel sighed in relief, smiling slightly. ''Oh, that's good to hear.''

''Yeah, the thing is, I figured you two should meet. He's like a brother to me, really… But then I realized I'd only introduce him to a friend, and you obviously hate me so...''

''I don't hate you.'' Castiel frowned, placing a hand on his shoulder. ''I feel awful, Dean. The things I said… I-I never meant to-''

''I told you, Cas. You didn't hurt me-''

''Yes,. I know I didn't hurt you, Dean. But still… I want you to, no, I _need_ you to understand. I didn't mean any of those things, I was just angry you didn't trust me enough to tell me about Meg. And then you called me a baby, and…'' He sighed softly. ''However, it doesn't matter. I should never have said that only because I was grumpy. I understand perfectly why you're an angel, Dean. You're so brave, strong, and so full of love… Your siblings are wrong about you, Dean… Please, I'll do anything for you to forgive me.'' Castiel looked up at the angel with begging eyes, not sure how he would react.

Dean found himself speechless, for perhaps the first time in his life. He knew he should say something, he just didn't know what. The emotions he was having were exhausting, and confusing. It was strange, cause' it was almost like he'd forgotten everything that had been said in the car. He forgot about the pain, and the anger. All that mattered was that Castiel was sorry, and even though Dean knew he couldn't have him completely, they'd at least still be friends. There were many things he'd like to say, but as emotionally retarded as he was he remained silent. Instead he pulled Cas into a hug.

It was an awkward hug; Cas obviously wasn't used to this sorta' body contact. Besides, the guy was still shirtless, which made the whole thing a lot more intimate and uncomfortable for him. It probably didn't help when Dean decided to pat his back, his body tensed and he straightened up. However, it was still a hug. And it was exactly what he needed right now. If only the moment could last-

''Oh, sorry, if I knew you were having a moment I'd pop in later.'' The sound of Balthazar's voice made both of them gasp and jump away from each other. Cas looked over at Dean for answers, but Balthazar spoke before Dean managed to open his mouth.

''You can call me Balthazar. I'm an angel, just like Dean-o over here.'' Dean sighed heavily at the nickname.

''Any reason you decided to drop by, Balthy?'' He asked, irritated.

''Inconvenient, was it? Sorry, brother, but I have news. Would you like to talk in private or…?''

''Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Cas.''

Castiel smiled slightly, tilting his head. ''Thank you, Dean.''

''Sure thing, Cas.'' Dean mumbled, trying hard not to blush in front of Balthazar. ''What is it?''

''Meg won't be bothering you anymore. She's dead.''

''W-What?! How?'' Castiel gasped,

''She was in Kansas looking for you, and I got together some of our brothers- the ones that aren't bloody idiots- and together we managed to take her down.''

Dean grinned widely. ''That's awesome, thanks bro.''

''Wait a minute.'' Castiel said, not as satisfied as Dean. ''If you and Dean could just kill her, why were we running away from her in the first place? Angels are much more powerful beings than demons, correct?''

''You're a smart one, I like you.'' Balthazar chuckled. ''Meg isn't stupid, she wasn't coming alone. She was bringing her awful hellhounds with her, and trust me; Those bastards are harder to take down than they look. Besides, if Dean was the one smiting her, it would only confirm Crowley's theory about you. Which would only would make things more complicated than they already are.''

''Crowley used her as a bade, Cas. She died in Kansas, so now he thinks we're in Kansas.'' He explained.

''Oh…'' Cas mumbled, lost in thought.

Dean hadn't noticed when Balthazar had disappeared, but he was thankful he'd left them alone. Cas still seemed kinda' down, and Dean wanted to cheer him up. ''Look, Cas, I know you thought of Meg as your friend… Well, at least you did until you found out she was a demon… But she was a bitch, and she wanted to get to you. So don't mourn her death. Come on, what do you say we watch some Star Wars on the big plasma screen in front of the couch?''

A small smile spread across Castiel's face, it was almost adorable. ''That sounds nice, Dean.''

**I'll update as soon as possible; the next chapter will contain sex :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER FIVE**

**Oh my God, I bet you hate me right now. But ugh, I've been busy with school and I never had time to write, so yeah. Here it is. I'm almost done with the next chapter so I'll update soon. **

**Warning; Gay sex! Don't like, don't read. **

After the somewhat awkward repair of their friendship, the atmosphere had changed completely. The sexual tension, that had already made it hard for Dean to focus on his task, had grown. And now it was pretty clear that the attraction was mutual. Not that Cas said anything about it, or did anything particularly significant, but it was obvious that it was something there. Like sometimes when they walked past each other, their hands would ''accidently'' brush against each other. Sometimes he caught Cas staring at him for longer than he should've been staring. And then one time when they'd watched a movie, Cas had fallen asleep in his lap. So yeah, it was kinda' obvious that something had changed. They both knew it, they could both feel it. However, they didn't mention it. Instead they danced around each other like a pair of ashamed teenagers. Typical.

Somehow Dean had managed to drag him down to the beach, which he immediately regretted. There were too many people there, it was nosy and crowded. Plus, the weather was way too hot. He sighed heavily, turning to look at Dean with a frown. Apparently the angel knew what he was going to say- He snapped his fingers, and suddenly they were the only two people on the beach. He raised his eyebrows, placing his hands on his hips. ''Dean, what did you do?''

The angel chuckled, running a hand through his hair as he replied. ''I sent them away. You wanted some privacy, right?''

Castiel couldn't help but smile endearingly. ''Yes, but that doesn't mean you can waste your powers on getting me what I want.''

''Sure I can. And I know you love it, so shut up.'' Dean said as he pulled his t-shirt off, revealing a muscular torso. Castiel swallowed hard, looking away quickly. He couldn't have these sinful thoughts, not now, not here. He slowly removed his own t-shirt, jumping lightly as he felt a hand on his back.

''Didn't mean to scare you, Cas, but I think you need some sunscreen. You don't wanna' get a sunburn, right?'' Dean explained.

''Oh… yes, you're right.''

''Yeah, turn around. I'll do you first.''

''E-Excuse me?'

''Your back.'' Dean chuckled ''I'll do your back.''

''Right, of course.'' Castiel mumbled nervously. A shiver went down his spine as Dean gently massaged his back, applying the sunscreen rather slowly. When he was done he turned around, and this time it was Castiel's time to 'do him'. He enjoyed running his fingers over Dean's firm and muscular back, it felt… nice. Too nice. He couldn't find himself to look Dean in the eye when he pulled away, he was too ashamed. Dean smirked, and before Castiel knew it he'd grabbed his arm and pushed him out in the water. He fell backwards, swallowing a lot of water as he landed with a b huge splash. He did something that was a mixture of laughing and coughing water.

''Sorry man, just couldn't resist.'' Dean chuckled as he helped him up on his feet again.

''It's okay, I didn't get hurt.'' He replied with a soft smile.

''Do you know how to swim?''

''No, I do not.'' Castiel mumbled awkwardly.

''Alrighty then.'' Dean smirked, pushing him further out in the water.

''Dean, what are you doing?'' He asked, digging his nails into Dean's arm.

''I'm gonna' teach you how to swim. You trust me, don't you?'' The angel lifted his chin up, and Castiel found himself blushing again. He met Dean's piercing gaze as he responded ''Yes, of course I do.''

~. ~.~.~

Three hours later Castiel was showering, quite satisfied with the day. Dean had taught him how to swim in only one hour, and the rest of the day they'd spent fooling around on the beach, making sandcastles and eating ice cream. He had to laugh- He was thirty years of age, and he'd been playing around like a child all day with an angel of the lord. He sighed softly at the memory of Dean's strong arms around him, keeping him from drowning and patiently teaching him how to swim. The way his heart had jumped, the way his stomach had flipped- It was quite extraordinary. He'd never felt like that about anyone. Then again, he'd never met someone as interesting as Dean before either. Someone so stubborn, and sometimes rude, but with so much love and selflessness it was ridiculous. Yes, at first he'd been a little shocked, but he was certain Dean was the greatest angel there was. His vessel couldn't even compare to his beautiful personality. And that was saying something, because his vessel was absolutely stunning- With the barely noticeable freckles, muscular and firm figure, and eyes as green as the Scandinavian forest… He looked down, sighing in frustration. ''Not again.'' He mumbled at the sight of his very much unwanted erection. ''Okay, maybe just one more time…''

He chose to wear a black suit vest with a white shirt and a blue tie. He was once told that the tie made his eyes stand out more than usual. Back then he'd been unaffected by this information, but now he couldn't help wondering… Would Dean notice? Did Dean even like his eyes? He tried to comb his hair, but it ended up looking messy anyway. Maybe Dean liked messy hair? He shook his head at his own stupidity. Dean _this_. Dean _that_. It didn't matter, he was an angel. Castiel was just a man.

Castiel gasped at the sight that met him when he entered the living room of their suite. Red candles were lit, Stairway to heaven was playing in the background, and two glasses of champagne were by the fire.

~. ~.~.~

Dean was sitting by the fire, waiting for Cas, the slow bastard. He was sick of fooling around. Sick of ignoring the elephant in the room. The anticipation had nearly killed him, but sometimes waiting was the best foreplay. He'd lit candles, poured champagne into two glasses, and the record player was playing Led Zeppelin- It couldn't get more cheesy and romantic than that. Dean normally didn't care for all that romantic crap, but with Cas it was different.

When Cas finally showed up he looked stunning- What, with his suit vest and his white shirt. He looked like a librarian, the hot kind. And damn his amazing blue eyes looked even more amazing with that matching blue tie. Dean grinned up at him, patting the space next to him. ''Hey Cas, come sit.''

Castiel obeyed, looking a bit uncertain of what was going on. ''Dean, what is this?''

Dean handed him a glass, smirking as he said ''This is champagne. It's a bit fancy, Balthy just loves it. You're not a big fan of beer, so I figured you might like this.''

''Oh, thanks.'' Castiel mumbled, taking a very small sip of the glass. ''You're right, I do find this more pleasant than beer.''

''See, I knew you'd like it.'' He said with a grin, holding his hands up in front of the fire. ''You know what we need? Marshmallows.'' Cas didn't even bother complaining about his tricks this time, and gladly accepted the marshmallows Dean snapped his fingers to get. They sat in silence for a while, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was that kinda' nice silence you had with someone you'd known for years.

''Dean...'' Castiel spoke eventually- ''How long do we have to hide out here?''

Dean raised his eyebrows. ''Why? You wanna' go somewhere else?

''No.'' Castiel mumbled in between licking sticky bits of marshmallows off his fingers. ''However, I don't want to hide forever. I don't even know what my task is yet.''

''Neither do I, but I do know we've gotta' hide until we do.'' Dean sighed, he knew this would come up at some point. ''Look, I know this is confusing and all… but, uhm, you know how it is. God works in mysterious ways.. The angels that know- they won't talk to me. Apparently dad needs to tell me himself, so I'm just sorta' waiting for answers…''

''So…What happens then? When I do whatever there is I'm here to do?'' Cas asked, tilting his head as usual.

''Well…'' He looked away, scratching the back of his head. ''Then your work is finished, and you can go back to your normal life. You know, without the angels and the demons- And without my annoying feathery ass.''

''I don't think you're annoying, Dean.'' Dean turned his head again, raising his eyebrows, which made Cas laugh. ''Okay, maybe a little bit. But I'm going to miss you...''

''Yeah, I'll miss you too.'' Dean said, trying to hide the pain in his voice. ''But hey, no chick flick moments.''

''I think we just had one.''

''Shut up.'' Dean said in a joking matter. ''So, remind me why you're not going to masturbate ever again…?''

Cas shifted uncomfortably, not even looking Dean in the eye as he responded''I already told you, it just isn't my thing. Besides, it isn't a subject I feel comfortable discussing with you.''

''Why, is it because you thought of me while doing it?'' Dean had no idea how it'd happened, but he'd said it. It was like he couldn't control his mouth. Shit! Cas was gonna' know he'd been spying on him now.

''I-I did no such thing!'' Cas stammered, red as a tomato.

''Really ? Cause' you were being extremely loud.'' Fuck, he just couldn't shut up could he?

''How would you- Oh!'' Cas gasped in realization. ''You _watched_ me.''

''Look, Cas, I'm sorry-''

''Dean, you had no right to invade my privacy like that! I can't believe you'd do something so inappropriate!''

Dean sighed softly, leaning forward to meet his gaze. ''What do you want me to say?''

''You can start by explaining why you did it.''

''Why?'' Dean smirked, placing a hand on his thigh. ''I think that'd be pretty obvious.''

Castiel swallowed hard. He'd just found out that Dean had been watching him masturbate, and now his hand were on his thigh. It was really confusing. Well, it wasn't confusing at all actually. He knew what that meant. He knew where this was going. He wanted to shout, he wanted to push Dean away- Not because he didn't want… _that_. But because he was scared. A few weeks ago he'd just been another priest, trying to have a calm and normal life. Now here he was, in Spain with an angel of the lord, feeling something he'd never felt before.

But he didn't shout, or push Dean away. Instead he looked Dean directly in the eye- drowning in an ocean of green emerald. ''Dean...'' He whispered.

''-Cas.'' Dean rubbed his thigh slowly, and to his fear, he could already feel his jeans tighten a bit.

''I-I don't understand.'' He stammered.

His eyes widened as Dean moved closer, cupping his face with his strong hands. Neither of them said anything. For a while they just sat there- staring into each other's eyes as they breathed the same air. After a while Dean moved closer. Their lips barely brushed, but his heart was already racing. He studied the angel's face- it looked like he was hesitating. Castiel took matters into his own hands- or lips rather. He closed the final distance between the, placing a chaste kiss to Dean's lips. It was warm and nice, and he understood why people liked this. When he ended the kiss he couldn't help but smile softly at Dean's facial expression. ''You look confused.'' He commented.

''Yeah, well. Y-You kissed me.''

''You already knew I wanted to, Dean.''

'' So it's okay then? If I kiss you, I mean.''

''Obviously.''

''Oh.''

There was an awkward silence before Dean pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his waist as he leaned in to kiss him again. Dean kissed him with passion and intensity. And Castiel slowly parted his lips, allowing Dean's hot tongue entrance. He made a satisfied noise in the back of his throat, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck. And just as he felt Dean was about to break the kiss off- he tightened his grip, kissing him back with a hunger he didn't know existed in him.

He ended up lying on the floor in front of the fire, with Dean on top of him. He ran his fingers through his short hair. ''I could kiss you forever.'' He whispered.

''What's stopping you?'' Dean smirked, brushing his lip against his skin.

''Mortality.'' Castiel replied with a chuckle.

''Naturally.'' Dean whispered. Their lips brushed in a soft kiss before Dean's tongue slipped in between his lips again. He greeted it frantically with his own as he tugged on Dean's hair. He let out a soft moan as Dean bit his bottom lip. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

Cas was an amazing kisser, and it was hard for him to believe he was inexperienced. He knew exactly how to move his tongue, he knew exactly how to tease. They lay there for a while, kissing like a pair of lovesick teenagers, until Dean dared making the next move. Sure, Cas had been the one to begin the kiss, but Dean really doubted he'd dare to go further and follow his instincts completely. Dean slowly began kissing and licking his neck, even biting a few times. ''Dean...'' He could feel Cas tremble beneath him as he left a hickey on what he knew was a sensitive place.

''Dean…''

''What?''

''Take me.''

Dean stared at him with huge eyes, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. ''You sure you want that?'' He asked. He didn't want to anything unless Cas actually wanted to do it as well.

''I'm certain.''

They kissed all the way to the bedroom, slamming into walls and knocking things over. As soon as they got to the bedroom Dean pushed him down on the bed, pinning him down. Castiel pulled him down for another kiss.

Dean's hand caressed the skin behind his neck, making goose bumps erupt across his skin. His other hand slipped underneath his shirt, running it up his stomach. Dean's mouth left his, trailing kisses down his jawline. His mouth found the sensitive spot on Castiel's neck that made him gasp, while bucking his hips up. He noticed and concentrated on the area, biting and sucking the skin there.

Castiel's hands travelled up his well-muscled arms, feeling the muscles flex under his fingers. His senses were going into overload, the pressure in his jeans building to an uncomfortable level. He moaned as Dean continued to suck on his neck, sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through his body. The lengths of their cocks strained against the layers of denim and cotton that separated them. As Dean moved above him, rocking their pelvises together, he kissed any part of Dean he could reach—the line of his jaw, the shell of his ear, the hollow at the base of his throat—before finally making his way back to his perfect lips.

His hands found their way under Dean's shirt, feeling the ridges of his hard abs. He lightly scraped my fingernails along his skin, making Dean tremble. He moved further up his body, stroking his chest lovingly. Dean hissed his response, moving his lips back to capture his own again. Castiel could feel his groin rub into his thigh, the bulge quite noticeable through his jeans. "Dean… N-need you" He whispered. He was demented with lust and he liked it. Loved it, even.

''Oh, you've got me alright.'' Dean said, snapping his fingers.

Cas gasped, looking down at his completely naked body.

Dean sat up, admiring the body in front of him. Flushed cheeks, swollen lip, and messy hair. Slim, but muscular. Manly, but smooth. He_ needed_ to touch him.

Dean was still fully clothed, and Cas was glaring at him, so he snapped his fingers again. The look on Cas' face was priceless. Dean wasn't stupid, he knew he'd picked a good looking vessel, but it wasn't just that. The way Cas looked at him- Like he was just dying to worship him- it was beautiful. He was beautiful, looking so needy and desperate and ready for him. And Dean realized he wanted to worship him too.

''Like what you see, baby?'' Dean teased, stroking his torso. Cas bit his lip, looking up at him with big eyes. Dean took his time; stroking, licking and biting every part of Cas' torso. But Cas got impatient, and ended up pulling at his hair.

''Dean, please…'' He whimpered.

He buried his head in between Cas' thighs, licking them teasingly. ''Shit, Cas, you're so beautiful.''

Castiel gasped as he propped up on his elbows. ''Dean, what-''

''Shhh'' Dean muttered, nipping at his inner thigh. ''You'll love it, I swear.''

So Castiel lay back down, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as he relaxed.

Dean slowly reached out a tongue to lick the head of Cas' hard member.

Castiel gasped as he felt Dean's tongue licking the tip of his erection.

When he heard Cas gasp above him, he continued to lick, paying special attention to that spot just beneath the tip.

''Dean…'' Castiel moaned. ''That's- ah, very pleasant.''

''Oh, baby we're just getting started.'' Dean circled the tip of his dick with his several times. He wrapped his hands tightly around the shaft and suckled on just the leaking head, drawing pre-cum into his eager mouth. He teased the pulsing end of Cas' cock with his clever tongue, tickling the space just underneath the mushroom cap.

Castiel was in bliss. Never before had he experienced anything quite like this. Feeling Dean's hands and mouth and tongue on his penis was phenomenal. ''Oh…Dean!'' Then Dean took him deep into his mouth, and Castiel sucked in a surprised breath.

Dean established a rhythm of bobbing deeply on Castiel's cock, then pulling off at intervals to suckle at the sensitive tip, never letting him get too close to coming.

Castiel arched his back, crying out. ''Dean, please!''

Dean pulled out, chuckling as he lay down next to him. ''No, not like this. Not yet.''

''But Dean-'' Cas complained.

Dean smiled endearingly, wiping sweat off his forehead. ''We have all night, Cas. I wanna' take my time with you.''

He was painfully hard, but Cas was gorgeous, and he wanted it to be incredible. He brushed his thumb over carefully over Castiel's chapped lips. ''You have no idea what you do to me, Cas.'' He whispered. ''Fuck, you have the most perfect lips.''

Castiel didn't know what to say to that, so he remained silent. He looked up at Dean with begging eyes, opening his mouth to suck on Dean's thumb. ''You're so pretty, Cas.'' The angel said. Castiel blushed instantly, smiling softly.

Dean smirked at him, making his cheeks flush even more. ''I wanted you from the minute I saw you...'' His fingers stroke over his nipples carefully, making Castiel gasp with surprise. ''Wanted to taste you, wanted to be inside of you.''

''Dean...'' He whimpered at the feeling of Dean's hot tongue playing with his nipple.

''Damn, you're so hot when you say my name like that. So hot, Cas.'' Dean's hand was under his back now, stroking down his spine. ''All the humans I've met, all the people I've done this with- they can't even compare to you, Cas. You're unique.''

Castiel moaned quietly, tugging at Dean's hair. ''Dean… I want- I need…''

Dean looked up at him, licking his lips seductively. ''What do you want, baby?''

He spread his legs willingly, whispering. ''Your fingers…Inside me.''

''You sure about that?''

''Dean, please, I'll do anything.'' Castiel said. There was no hesitation, no nerves, no stalling. Nothing.

Dean kissed his forehead lightly. ''Of course, babe, I'll put my fingers in you.'' It was thrilling and intoxicating to be wanted that much. To be wanted so clearly and so urgently. So he snagged the tube of lube from the bedside table and squeezed a huge amount into his palm. And if there was something he knew it was that you could never have enough lube. Especially not when you were a hot virgin named Castiel.

''Are you ready?'' He asked- But then Castiel lifted his legs up, wrapping them around Dean's waist and pulling him close. ''Damn, that's hot.'' Dean said, stroking the inner thigh of his flexible human.

He teased his hole a bit, circling his finger around it, making it wet with lube. Cas was- not surprisingly- very eager.

''Dean, come on…'' Cas whined.

''Come on what?'' He smirked

''Take my virginity, Dean, please.''

''Alright then.'' Dean chuckled, placing a kiss on his chin. ''I'll start with one finger, okay? I'm gonna' go nice and slow… Don't wanna' hurt you.'' He kissed Castiel on the lips as he pushed a finger into his entrance as nice and slow as he could.

Castiel had masturbated twice now, but never had it felt quite like this. Dean's finger was warm, smooth and while it did hurt a little, he wanted more. Plus, Dean was excellent at calming him down. He stroke his face, whispering quietly. ''It's okay, Cas, I've got you. Just breathe.''

''Dean, you can move now.'' Castiel panted.

Dean moved his finger slowly and smoothly, he'd used a lot of lube, which Castiel was thankful for. Castiel took deep breaths, eventually relaxing. And the more he relaxed, the more he pleasure he felt. It was incredible.

Dean slid another finger inside him, moving them both a little faster. He was pushing his hips forward to meet Dean's fingers, moaning loudly as they hit something inside him.

''Yes!'' He moaned. ''Right there, Dean.''

Dean smirked as he added another finger, he hadn't expected Cas to be just this eager, but it was hot as hell. He stretched him open with his fingers, hitting his prostate a number of times.

''Dean, please!'' Castiel groaned as three fingers work inside him, pushing and thrusting and brushing over that spot inside him.

He scissored his fingers out, swallowing down Cas' cry with a kiss, thumb rubbing over his perineum.

''What do you want, Cas?'' He teased.

''Y-You.'' Cas stammered. '_'Please._''

''Hm... Be a bit more specific.''

Castiel almost lost it at that; He growled in frustration, digging his nails into Dean's back as he pulled him closer so he could whisper into his ear. ''Your fingers aren't enough, Dean. I need you. Inside of me. _Fucking me_. I won't ask twice.''

Dean answered by giving him a possessive kiss. ''Mhm, fuck yeah.'' The angel moaned. He poured some more lube onto his hands, before smearing it on his hard cock.

''You ready?'' Dean asked for what seemed like the fifth time.

''Dean, for the love of your father.'' Castiel rolled his eyes, lifting his hips up. ''Fuck me.''

Dean placed his hand on Castiel's hip, looking him deeply into the eyes as the tip of his cock entered his hole. Castiel pushed out to take him in, and Dean slowly slid all the way down in one slow, perfect stroke. They gasped in unison once he was fully seated.

Castiel's breath left him in a rush, lips parting soundlessly as Dean pressed in. _Dean was inside of him. _It burned, it was tight, and the sensation of being spread and filled with hot, hard flesh was indescribable.

''Dean.'' He mumbled, adjusting his hips a little. ''Move.''

And Dean chuckled, running a hand through his hair as he began working his hips. Slowly. Carefully. Lovingly.

''You feel so good, Cas.'' Dean groaned. ''So damn good.''

Castiel moaned, moving his hips along with Dean's movements. ''Yes, Dean. Fill me up.''

''Fuck, Cas.'' Dean attacked Castiel's neck with kisses, tugging lightly on his hair. ''The things you do to me.''

Castiel groaned a response, digging his nails into Dean's back. ''Dean… This is- ah!..''

''I know, baby.'' Dean whispered, speeding up his tempo. ''So hot, Cas. 'Wanted you the minute I saw you.''

Castiel gasped when Dean once again found that spot inside of him. ''Yes, just like that..'' He moaned. He wanted this always, wanted this every night, every chance he got. Deep in the swirling mix of passion and lust, he threw out every warning, every caution that had ever stopped him from taking what he wanted.

It didn't take very long before Castiel started shaking, his breath hitching. ''Dean, harder…'' He pleaded.

Dean kissed him, not fully answering his plea. Instead he wrapped his fingers around his erection. He began pumping slowly, his hips moving in time to his hand.

''Ohhh, Dean! That's aaaamazing.''

''So perfect, Cas'' Dean said. ''And all mine.''

Castiel was out of it, all he could do was let out another moan as he nodded his head.

''Mine.'' Dean finally began thrusting harder into him. Castiel could feel every ridge and vein of the invader he welcomed so desperately. And with every thrust, Dean's perfect cock brushed his prostate and sent white sparks bursting behind his closed eyes.

''Cas, you feel so good, baby. You're so hot.'' Dean said, using his teeth to play with his hard nipples.

Dean continued to repeatedly hit his prostate, sending wave after wave of euphoria coursing through his body. His breathing rate increased. All the stimulation was putting him in overload.

''Dean!'' He cried out, desperately clinging onto his back. ''Harder. Faster. Please.''

''You sure, Cas? You sure you want me to go harder?''

''Yeees. Please, Dean, rev me up. Tear me apart.''

Dean grinned. He pulled out for a second; He twisted before slamming all the way back in, repeating the motion, pulling out torturously slow and pushing him overwhelmingly hard.

Castiel was literally shaking as tears of happiness rolled down his cheek. A shout punched from his chest, hole clenching around Dean's cock as he retreated, crying out when he shoved in.

''Fuck, Cas, you like that?'' Dean panted

''Aaaaaooooh, yes Dean. I like that.'' Castiel whined.

Dean used the hand that wasn't holding onto his hip, to fist Castiel's cock- Causing him to shout.

''Oh, fuck, Dean! Fill me up!'' He screamed shamelessly, tightening around Dean. He could feel it coming, pleasure heightening with every jab at his prostate, and every flick of Dean's thumb over his head.

''DEAN, I-'' His body tensed up, cries turning wordless, mouth parted around air and nothing more.

''Come for me, Cas.'' Dean demanded, thrusting harder, faster and deeper than he thought was possible.

Castiel was gone- stiff and shooting off between them. Come dribbled down Dean's fingers, painted his stomach and chest in creamy, white streaks.

''Shit, Cas.'' Dean gasped and his hips shuttered. He didn't think it could be so good, so hot, and it only got better. Cas was clenching around him and pulling him closer, pulling him in. Soon he was exploding inside him, hot and thick, head tucked into his chest as he groaned out his orgasm.

And Dean didn't stop. He continued thrusting into Cas, fucking him through their mind-blowing orgasms. He didn't slow down until it was physically impossible for him to move. He panted heavily, eventually pulling out, slamming down next to Cas.

Castiel turned to look at Dean, smiling lazily at the angel. ''Woaah.'' Was all he managed to say.

And Dean just chuckled at that, wrapping his strong arms around him. ''Yeah, I know.''

**This is literally the first time I've written any sort of smut. So, good? Not good? Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER SIX**

**AN: Sorry, I've been busy with exams and presentations all week- this was done in a hurry.**

**AND OMG YOU SHOULD ALL GO TO MISHA'S TWITTER ACCOUANT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE PICTURE OF HIS AND VICKI'S SECOND CHILD. IT'S A GIRL AND SHE'S ADORABLE.**

Castiel dreamed about Dean that night. He dreamed about his movements, his scent, his moans- He replayed the scenario of having Dean inside him many times before waking up. The sun shined bright into the bedroom, causing him to rub his eyes in pain. He really shouldn't have drunk all that champagne. ''Good morning, handsome.'' He mumbled, curling up next to Dean.

Well, what he thought was Dean anyway. He opened his eyes, frowning. He was hugging a pillow; Dean wasn't in the bed. Well, well, he was probably just up already, and didn't want to wake him.

Castiel was still a bit sticky from yesterday, and so was the bed. He sighed heavily as he made the bed, before heading to the shower- No actually, he didn't want to shower today. He still wanted to smell like Dean- His Dean. He shivered at the thought of Dean belonging to him. Which, alright, was selfish (and a bit blasphemous) - but he couldn't think like that. For the first time in, perhaps ever, he was happy. He'd lost his job, he was hiding from demons, and he didn't even know why- but he was happy.

He yelped as he out of the bed. His rear was sore, and it ached when he tried to walk. ''Auuuch.'' He complained as he got dressed, choosing a pair of sweatpants and a washed out T-shirt. Yes, this was going to be a good day. He could feel it.

The entire hotel room smelled like egg and bacon. Which made him grin, it was extremely thoughtful of Dean to make him breakfast. He wanted to run towards the smell, but his behind still hurt. He ended up walking slowly, limping towards the living room. ''Dean, last night was-''

''Last night was what, kiddo?''

Castiel's heart stopped. He had reached the living room- but Dean wasn't there. Instead of seeing the green eyed angel he saw as short man with light brown hair and hazel eyes, grinning up at as he shoved egg and bacon into his mouth. How classy.

''Oh, hello Cassie, have you tried this champagne? It's marvelous.'' Another man appeared, and this man he knew. It was a man with a V-neck and sandy blond hair. Balthazar, Dean's brother.

Castiel ended up standing between the two mean, still not sure of whom the smaller man was supposed to be.

''Where is Dean?'' He asked-no- _demanded _to know.

''Sit down.'' The two men said in unison, pointing towards the couch.

Castiel raised his eyebrows in suspicion as he slowly sat down, crossing his arms in a defensive matter. ''Dean- Where is he?'' He turned to the mysterious man with a frown. ''And who are you?''

The man smirked, holding out a hand for Castiel to shake. ''Gabriel. They call me Gabriel.''

''The archangel.'' He lowered his gaze in embarrassment. ''My apologies, I didn't-''

''Yeah, yeah. You didn't know, I get it.'' The archangel shrugged. ''S'okay- You were expecting another angel, right?''

Castiel lightened up again. ''Yes, where is he?''

''In Heaven.'' Balthazar said from the doorstep.

''In Heaven?'' Castiel asked- That seemed highly illogical. Why would he be in Heaven? He was supposed to be his protector. ''Why?''.

''Sorry, Castiel. Secret angel business-only for us to know.'' Gabriel said.

Castiel sighed softly. He didn't want to argue with an archangel, he was too tired. Instead he accepted the information they'd given him, and began eating. He sat in silence as he ate, feeling rather uncomfortable. Gabriel kept eating, Balthazar kept drinking, and the three of them sat in the couch - not sure what to say to each other.

''When is he coming back?'' Castiel asked, finally breaking the silence.

The two angels looked at each other. ''He isn't.'' They replied.

Castiel felt his heart sink in his chest. So that was it then? Dean had to go back to Heaven, not even leaving a goodbye note. After what they had shared last night, after what they had done- Castiel really had expected more of the angel. Now he felt like a cheap harlot-

But then again, it would be selfish of him to stay mad. Dean was a soldier of God. He didn't have time to care for petty human like himself. Castiel loved God, so he didn't blame him. He kindly sent him a prayer, begging him to make sure Dean was fine.

''Hey, I know it sucks- You and Dean were close and all, but we're just following our orders. We gotta' do what we gotta' do.'' Gabriel said, obviously trying to cheer him up.

''Dean and I were friends.'' He replied shortly. ''I'm not sobbing. I know how it works, your obedience is required and I fully understand that.''

''I knew I liked you.'' Balthazar grinned, poking his shoulder, while Gabriel raised his eyebrows.

''Friends you say?'' He smirked. ''So I guess it's normal for a friend to give him his V-card, eh?''

Castiel gasped- He choked on his food, and ended up coughing like a maniac. ''T-That didn't happen.'' He said when he'd gotten his breath back. ''I have no idea what you're talking about.''

''Oh yeah, suuure.'' Gabriel chuckled, elbowing him playfully in the ribs. ''That limp you got there says you did a lot more than a little spooning.''

Castiel sighed; he was way too tired to deal with this. All he wanted to do was sleep. Preferably next to Dean. ''I'm not feeling well.'' He muttered, standing up. ''Thank you for the breakfast, Gabriel- I think I'm going to bed now.'' And with that he limped back to the bed, curling up under the sheets as he sighed. He was miserable, raw inside, tense to the point of desperation, and nothing eased the ache in his chest.

Why hadn't Dean said goodbye?

~.~.~.~

''I still think we should tell him.'' Gabriel insisted.

They'd been over this so many times now, it was getting kinda' ridiculous. Still, they hadn't come to a conclusion. And Gabriel was getting tired of fighting with his brother, but Balthazar didn't back down, and neither did he.

''Give me one good reason we should.'' Balthazar replied stubbornly.

''Dean.'' Gabriel said, crossing his arms.

''Dean?'' Balthazar chuckled. ''Brother dear, Dean has slept with more humans than any other angel we know. ''

''Sorry, but this isn't about sex, bro.'' Gabriel sighed.

''Then what is it about?''

''You know what it's about, you just don't wanna' think about it.''

Balthazar downed his drink quickly, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. ''Ah, alright. I give up; I know what this is about- but do you really think it's a good idea to tell him why Dean was sent back to heaven?''

''Yeah, definitely.''

''You're nuts.'' Balthazar mumbled, rolling his eyes. ''You're completely insane.''

''Hey, I'm older than you. Don't talk to me like that!''

''Pulling the archangel card again, are you?'' Balthazar chuckled. ''Sorry, but you're still wrong.''

''Hey, I just wanna' help the poor guy out.''

''Look, Gabriel, your affection for human beings is touching. Really. But do you think you're going to help him by telling him the truth? The truth will destroy him.''

''Dang it...''

''What?''

''You're right.'' Gabriel muttered, crossing his arms.

''Of course I'm right.'' Balthazar sighed. ''Now let's go check on sleeping beauty.''

~.~.~.~

Castiel was doing what he always did when he felt bad; He read in the Bible. First he looked up **Psalm 147:3**: ''_ He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.''_

And **34:18**: ''_The Lord is near to those that have a broken heart, and he saves those who have a contrite spirit.'' _

Then he looked up **John 14:1: **''_ Let not your heart be troubled – ye believe in God, believe also in me.'' _

He ended with his favorite verse from the Bible. _Matthew 11:28: ''Come unto me, ye who are weary and overburdened, and I  
will give you rest.''_

Castiel sighed as folded his hands together. ''Dear father, who art in Heaven. I thank you for choosing me. Me; of all people. I'm extremely grateful, and very flattered. However, there is something I must ask of you…'' He paused. ''Thank Dean for me. Thank him for everything he's given me. Most importantly- don't let him forget me. Please don't let him forget me... In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.''

''Well that sure was a friendly prayer.''

''Oh, it was _so_ endearing. Dean must be swooning.''

Castiel looked up, gasping in surprise. He frowned immediately at the sight of the two angels. How incredibly rude! How rude to interrupt a poor man while he's praying. He looked around in the room, suddenly realizing he hadn't cleaned up from last night yet. The sheets were tangled, a bottle of lube was on the floor, and the room still smelled like intercourse (If that was even a smell).

He couldn't help but glare at the intruders. ''Prayers are supposed to stay between God and his children. They are not for others to hear.''

The angels didn't take him seriously, of course they didn't. Gabriel bent down to pick the bottle of lube up from the floor, grinning like an idiot. Honestly, how was this supposed to be an archangel? This was the angel that had told Mary she was going to give birth to the son of God. If he hadn't been feeling terrible he would've laughed at the thought of that scenario.

Balthazar moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, but Castiel stopped him. ''Please don't.'' He muttered pleadingly. If Balthazar sat down the bed wouldn't smell like Dean anymore. And the smell of Dean was all he had right now. The blond angel sighed heavily, leaning against the wall.

Gabriel sensed the awkward tension in the room, and was obviously trying to make it better. ''Hey, at least you got one good fuck, huh?'' His grin widened as he squeezed the bottle.

Castiel's frown deepened. He slammed back against the headboard, pulling his legs to his chest. ''It was my first time.'' He said quietly.

The angels exchanged a look, none of them were sure what to say. Normally, Balthazar wouldn't care enough to deal with humans. And normally, Gabriel would just mess with them. However, this time they didn't do what they normally would.

''So… Did our brother treat you well?'' Balthazar asked, smirking.

''Dean has been with many humans...'' Castiel said, smiling shyly. ''He knew what to do.''

''This bottle's almost empty.'' Gabriel chuckled. ''Looks like he spent a lot on you.''

Castiel nodded, furrowing his brows. ''It was my first time.'' He repeated.

''I take it our brother was gentle then…'' Balthazar said, still smirking.

''Your brother can be very romantic.'' Castiel said seriously.

The angels laughed hysterically, tears fell from their eyes as they tried to catch their breath. When they noticed Castiel's glare, they stopped, wiping the grins of their faces.

''He was gentle most of the time. That was until I-'' Castiel paused, blushing furiously. '_He was gentle until I begged him not to be'_ he thought to himself. ''-Anyway, it was nice. I'm glad I experienced it before he went back to Heaven. ''

And once again, an awkward silence entered the room. The one to break it was Gabriel. ''So Cassie, it's pretty hot outside today. Wanna' go to the beach?''

Castiel sighed, shaking his head. ''No thank you.'' He replied as he lay back down on the bed. ''I'm going to sleep now…''

The angels sighed, leaving the man alone.

~.~.~.~

''It's kinda' weird, you know.'' Gabriel said, watching the waves.

Balthazar raised his eyebrows at that. What was his brother getting at now? ''What are you taking about?''

''Dean.'' Gabriel replied shortly. ''Do you really think dad would do that to him? Come on, that doesn't sound right.''

''And what's your point?''

''My point is, maybe dad isn't giving the orders anymore. You know? Maybe one of our superiors is getting a bit too cocky. Hester's been pretty off lately…''

Balthazar sighed in disbelief. ''And what are you suggesting?''

''We fake our deaths.''

''Brother, have many drinks have you had today?''

''Damn it, Balthy, I mean it.'' Gabriel said seriously, grabbing his shoulders. ''We fake our deaths, get Dean the heck outta' there, and hide.''

''That is madness, and you know it.'' Balthazar said with a chuckle.

''Trust me. What we're doing now isn't the work of God. I would know, I've actually met the guy-''

''-Again with the archangel card.''

'' _Besides_, I know I'm not alone about this. Many angels are beginning to wonder…''

''…''

''What do you say? Wanna' go save our bro?''

''Fine, but you owe me.''

**Sorry if this chapter was a bit short and weird. I promise it'll all make sense later. **


	7. Chapter 7

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER SEVEN**

**I figured Dean's true form should like this, since it's practically canon in the fandom now: post/26786336235/i-wanted-to-try-my-hand-at-making-a-design-for **

**(Credit to fellowadventures!)**

**Oh, and his two animals heads are a tiger and a lion. Just cause'. **

**Warnings: Blasphemous blow job! (Yes, I manage to sneak some porn in, because I'm horny as hell right now)**

''You're walking down a dangerous path, Dean.''

Dean didn't reply, he never did. Raphael could cut and slice all he wanted, he wasn't gonna' give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much it hurt. The angel blade cut into his left wing, leaving a big scar at the tip of his wings. His wings, which were usually golden, were now turning black. Still, he didn't scream. He didn't make a sound. Rapahel had been torturing him for a day, and he still hadn't cracked. Didn't he deserve some sorta' credit for that?

''When our father told us to bow for humanity he didn't mean for us to become like them, Dean. We're here to obey, to watch. Not to pretend like we're one of those filthy mud monkeys.''

Dean did glare at that. He'd never been a fan of that term. What, they were so much better than them because they had wings?

''Emotions are dangerous. They could lead to disobedience…'' Raphael paused, twisting the blade around. ''In love, huh? That's the dangerous emotion of them all..''

Raphael pulled the sword out and was just about to drive the blade into his shoulder when they were interrupted by a bright light.

Then he saw Gabriel and Balthazar.

Then it got dark.

~.~.~.~

The first thing he noticed was that he definitely wasn't in Heaven anymore. He was back in his human vessel, which was in much better shape than his true form was right now. He heard voices; they were like small annoying buzzes. He didn't open his eyelids, he was too damn tired. Normally he'd wake up to see what the hell was going on, but right now all he needed was some rest. It was incredible how tired he got after a bit torture- he should almost be used to it by now. He cleared his throat as he allowed himself to doze off- still wondering what the hell was going on…

~.~.~.~

Castiel was still a bit overwhelmed. Gabriel and Balthazar hadn't told him their plan, nor had they told him why Dean was back. They weren't in Spain anymore either- they were in a ''hunter's'' house in South Dakota. And had they told him why, or what kind of animals this person hunted? No. However, he was starting to think this was a strange hunter. He had many lore books, a lot of salt and abnormal symbols were drawn on the ceiling, and on the windows. The angels didn't tell him why.

He was starting to get a little sick of these angels.

He was starting to see why Dean preferred earth.

~.~.~.~

Dean woke up 4 hours later. The first thing he smelled was a alcohol, the first thing he heard was the sound of an old man yelling, and the first thing he saw was the big cold walls of the panic room. Bobbys; He was at Bobby's. And man, was he glad to be back. Dean sat, up stretching his arms as he yawned. The small bed was placed in a ring of holy fire; Smart. Never trust an angel that had just been tortured. 10 points to Bobby.

''D-Dean?''

He looked up; Cas had opened the door. Man, he looked like crap. He was pale, well, paler than usual. He had dark bags under his eyes, and his hair was a messy. Still hot as hell though. Dean watched as he put the fire out.

''Hey Cas, how are ya'?'' Dean grinned as he stood up from the bed, squeezing Cas' shoulder.

Cas almost winced at his touch and he quickly shook his hand off. ''Dean, what happened?''

Dean sighed. He knew this would come. He knew Cas would wanna' know why he'd disappeared. And why he was back again. And why they were in friggin' South Dakota. But he just couldn't. The blind faith Cas had in heaven was admirable, and almost adorable. Dean didn't want to be the one to crush that faith, he just couldn't.

''It doesn't matter. I'm back now.''

''Then can you at least tell me what's going on?''

Dean frowned, rubbing his temple.

''I gotta' go talk to my brothers.''

~.~.~.~

So Dean had left, _again. _And Castiel was not grieving anymore. He was sitting in Bobby's (that was the name of the ''hunter'') couch, drinking scotch. Whiskey tasted utterly disgusting, but it helped, so he drank it anyway.

''I don't quite understand how the angel's minds work. They won' tell me anything.''

The old man chuckled as he adjusted his cap. ''Yeah, join the club.''

''So how do you know Dean?'' He asked, trying to get his mind off things.

Bobby's answer was short. ''I'm a hunter.''

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, sighing once again. ''Yes, you keep saying that, but I don't know what it means.''

''You don't know about-?'' The hunter raised his eyebrows. ''-Then how do you know Dean?''

''I'm a priest. Well, I was a priest.''

Bobby chuckled once again. ''You're a preacher? Well, you ain't looking like one.''

''I used to be.'' Castiel sighed. ''Now look at me.''

''Okay princess, if you wanna' bitch about it you oughta' go elsewhere.''

Castiel rolled his eyes heavily, downing the rest of the bottle. ''You still haven't told me about hunting.''

''Look, son. This ain't a happy story. It might be a little tough for ya'.''

''Try me.'' Castiel said, smirking.

''Fine.'' Bobby said. ''You already know about demons right?'' Castiel nodded, and the old man continued his story.

''That's what we 'hunters' hunt. Demons.''

''You hunt demons?!'' Castiel gasped.

''-We hunt all kinda' crap. Vampires, shape shifters, werewolves, ghosts, witches…''

Castiel gasped a second time. ''Oh, dear lord in Heaven.''

Bobby shrugged. ''Don't get so surprised, you've already met the angels…''

''The angels are doing the work of God. They are good creatures.'' Castiel shuddered. ''I can't believe you actually hunt down awful creatures that _want to kill you._''

''Someone's gotta' kill em'.'' It was strange how the man could make it seem so… unimportant. Like it was a natural thing to do.

''It's very admirable of you.''

Bobby didn't say anything, but Castiel could swear he saw the man smile slightly when he turned away.

~.~.~.~

Great. So his brothers had faked their deaths, moved Cas to Bobby's, put up angel sigils so their siblings wouldn't find them, and were now expecting their dad wasn't giving the orders anymore. Dean had been suspicious for a long time, but he hadn't done anything about it. Now that he had Gabriel and Balthazar on his side- how bad could it get? Oh, yeah, pretty fucking bad. The good news was that they had found Anna (Actually Anael, but that sounded like anal, so she preferred to be called Anna). She had fallen a few years ago, and if they got her grace back she'd be a strong resource to their little rebellious team. They were also considering asking Inias and Samandrial, known as the two nicest in the garrison. They were also the easiest to persuade.

When Dean came back Bobby was drinking (surprise!) in his living room. Cas wasn't there.

''Bobby, you son of a bitch.'' Dean grinned pulling him into a big ol' hug. ''Man, it's good to see you. You've gotten old.''

''Ya' idgjit.''' Bobby said, smacking his head lightly. ''Now sit down and shut up.''

Same ol' Bobby. Same ol' drunk. ''Yeah, sure.'' Dean sat down, putting his feet on the table. ''What is it?''

''Why he hell haven't you told your little buddy what's going on here?''

''Oh.''

''Oh?'' Bobby raised his brows. ''That's all you gotta' say? Oh? I had to sit here and tell him about hunting, Dean.''

Dean stood up, frowning as he crossed his arms. ''You told him about hunting?''

''Course' I did.'' Bobby responded immediately. ''It's his life now, Dean.''

''Look, he's naive, okay? He has so much faith, and I didn't wanna' ruin it for him.'' Dean explained, lowering his voice.

''And what were you gonna' do, huh? Clean his memory when this was all over?''

''Yeah, kinda'...''

Dean earned himself another smack. ''Auch!''

''He ain't a precious little flower, he's a grown man for God's sake!'' Bobby paused. ''What do you think your dad would think of this, huh?''

''My dad doesn't give a crap anymore.'' Dean growled, downing the rest of the whiskey bottle that was on the table.

''I gotta' admit, I kinda' missed you.''

''Yeah, you too... Idgjit.''

~.~.~.~

Little did Dean and Bobby know that Castiel had listened to the entire conversation. And he was more than a little furious. Dean treated him like a vulnerable little child! Like he had no say in the matter. Like he had nothing to contribute with. Only the thought of Dean erasing his memory made him boil with anger and clench his fist. Dean was not going to get away with it. No way in Hell was he getting away with it.

~.~.~.~

''Hey Cas, you in there?'' Dean asked, knocking on the door of Bobby's guest bedroom. Cas didn't answer.

''Hey Ca-'' suddenly the door opened and Dean was slammed into the wall.

Castiel was in front of him, tugging on his shirt like a mad man. He was as red as a tomato, and was glaring at Dean like he wanted to kill him.

''Hey, what're you-'' Dean's words were cut off by Cas' fist- right in the face. Of course, since Dean was an angel, he didn't feel a thing. Cas, however, must've broken a finger. But he didn't wince in pain, instead he kept glaring at Dean as he pushed him up against the wall.

''I gave everything for you.'' The human practically spit out, punching him in the ribs. ''And this is what you give to me?''

''Cas, please, you're only hurting yourself.'' Dean mumbled.

Cas hand flew up to press against his mouth. ''Shut up, you assbutt!'' And damn, if he wasn't so mad, Dean would've laughed at that.

Cas threw him down on the floor (Yes, Dean let himself be thrown. Anything to calm the guy down).

''You moved me around like a chess piece!'' Cas' eyes filled with tears as he kicked Dean in the nuts. Okay, that did hurt a little. ''And not once did I hesitate!''

''Cas-''

''Shut up!'' The human was full on crying now.

''You took my virginity!'' Another kick in the nuts. Damn, he was gonna' have to heal his vessel after this. ''And then you left; without a note!''

Castiel sat down next to him, cupping his face in his cheeks. ''I thought we were friends.''

''We are…''

''No.'' Castiel sighed. ''You think I'm weak. Vulnerable. Weak. Useless. I heard what you said to Bobby. You want to wipe my memory, rather than letting me know the truth.''

''Cas, please-''

''Shut up.'' Castiel cried, knocking their heads together. Again, Dean didn't feel anything, but Cas passed out from the pain he'd caused himself. He passed out.

Dean sat up, looking at the body in front of him. Cas had managed to get bloody and bruised, just from trying to beat Dean up.

The angel sighed, healing him in a second.

~.~.~.~

Castiel woke up in a bed, dizzy and confused. Dean was sitting on a chair next to him, looking handsome as always. Sadly he hadn't managed to leave any damage on the angel's face.

''Don't talk.'' Dean said quickly. Which was wise, Castiel would probably end up yelling at him anyway. He sighed, sitting up in the bed. He patted the space next to him, making Dean aware that he could sit down.

''I'll tell you what you want to know.'' Dean sat as he accepted the invitation to sit down.

''The thing is, I didn't just 'fly back to Heaven'. I was dragged back. By Raphael, the archangel. You know who he is, right?''

Castiel nodded.

''Good. When angels are dragged back to Heaven it isn't because their mission is over. It's because they've done something, said something, or because they're thinking about doing something that could make them a threat. And… They-uh.. They..''

Dean was obviously struggling to get the words out, and Castiel gently placed a hand on his shoulder. ''Just say it.''

''They get tortured, Cas. It's pretty bad.''

''Angels torture each other?'' Castiel gasped. Dean hadn't abandoned him on purpose. He hadn't just left after taking his virginity. He'd been tortured. TORTURED. By his brother. Castiel felt sick.

''Yeah, of course they do.'' Dean chuckled bitterly. ''Most people give up after the few first times- but me? I think it's the eight time I've been dragged up there. I sure as hell ain't gonna' change just cause' big bro says it. It sucks though, having your brother slice you up like that.''

Castiel frowned. Why would anyone torture Dean? Why would Dean's father give out that order? Something wasn't right…''But God would never-''

''Exactly, Cas. God would never.'' Dean sighed. ''God isn't giving the orders anymore.''

''Then who is? And why you?!''

''Michael. Raphael. Probably a few superiors too. Dad left.'' Dean took a deep breathe. ''Just… It doesn't matter why, okay? It's happened before. Basically because I'm a shitkid, that's why.'' No way in hell was he telling Cas the truth.

''He left?''

''Yup, daddy left the building.'' Dean shook his head. ''Gabriel is forming a little resistance group- we're trying to find all the rebellious angels we can. The real angels. The ones that still does the work of God.''

''This is a bit too much.'' Castiel rubbed his forehead. ''But- why didn't you tell me?''

Dean chuckled, meeting his gaze. ''Cas. Never have I ever met a guy with as much faith as you have.''

Castiel blushed furiously.

''Seriously, I mean it. We call you 'the righteous man' in Heaven. Your faith is awesome, Cas. Makes you special, you know? '' Dean sighed. ''I guess I just didn't want you to see how bad it really was.''

''Your compliments are flattering, Dean. But I'm not a child. You should've told me.''

''Yeah, I know…''

''So… The hunting?''

Dean smirked. ''Bobby told you about that, huh? Yeah… Many people are hunters, Cas. Not enough to keep the evil from the earth, but they help. They really do.''

''You didn't want to tell me that either?'' It was a statement rather than a question.

''When people learn about hunting becomes hunters, Cas.'' Dean sighed. ''I didn't want you to become one, I guess.''

''But I want to help.'' Castiel said, grabbing his hand. ''I'm strong, I'm brave, I'm a fast learner. I know I could be a great hunter.''

Dean chuckled. ''A hunter's life isn't a happy one, Cas. You can't get attached. You have to risk your life to save people.''

''I don't have anyone, Dean. I have myself. I have my faith. I don't have anything else.'' Castiel said.

''Cas, God is gone. What do you have faith in?''

''I have faith in kindness. Love. You… and your little rebellious group.''

''If you say so.'' Dean said, laughing.

''Tell me about some hunters you know.''

''Oh geez.'' Dean sighed. ''Ellen and Jo Harvelle. Badass mother and daughter. Hot as hell, but scary. They're dead. Don't worry, they're in heaven.''

''John and Mary Smith. Parents of my vessel. Mary, she used to pray to us. And when the fire-'' Dean paused. ''The fire spread quickly. Her son, Dean Smith, was gonna' die. It was Mary's dying wish that he didn't die, so I didn't let it happen- They're in heaven too.''

(**AN**: Yes I know that in the terrible life! Verse it's canon that Ellen and Bobby are Dean Smith's parents, but it just didn't work with this story))

''How is Dean Smith like?'' Castiel asked out of curiosity.

''Dude, he's lame as hell. He jogs; he eats rabbit food, listens to quiet music, and works in some big fancy company. He's basically the opposite version of me.''

''So I'd like him then?'' Castiel teased.

Dean elbowed him playfully in the ribs. ''Hey, shut up.''

''What's your name, your real one?'' Castiel asked, out of the blue.

''It's stupid.'' Dean says, and blushes. The angel actually blushed.

''Dean…''

''My _name_ is Dean. That's what fits me.'' Dean said stubbornly. ''My angel name is stupid.''

''Dean-''

''It's Zadkiel, okay?!'' Dean snapped.

Zadkiel. Castiel loved Zadkiel, he always had. But of course, he loved- well, had strong feelings for- Dean as well. So it made sense.

''Zadkiel?'' Castiel smirked, sneaking a hand down to Dean's thigh. ''The angel of freedom, benevolence, and mercy.''

''C-Cas?'' Dean stammered, his eyes widened.

Castiel massaged his inner thigh lightly as he whispered into his ear.

''Co-chief with the archangel Gabriel.''

Dean was already panting when Castiel grabbed his arms, pushing him down on the bed. He rolled his hips slowly, licking Dean's neck.

''Cas…''

''Shhh-'' Castiel shut him up with his finger. ''The angel that prevented Abraham from killing his son.''

Castiel lowered his body, his head rested on Dean's thigh. He was already rock hard.

''…Follows behind Michael when the angels are at war.''

He unzipped Dean's jeans as he spoke, pulling them down to his knees.

Dean couldn't take his eyes off the human. It was blasphemy, but it was hot as hell. And fuck, it didn't help when he kept looking up at him with those big blue eyes.

''…Will facilitate the healing and transcendence of unhealed energy-''

Castiel pulled Dean's boxers down in one quick movement, and his already leaking erection popped right up.

''Fuck, what are you gonna'-''

''- generated from painful experiences so that we may realize forgiveness. ''

Castiel licked Dean's leaking head experimentally, earning himself a loud groan from the angel.

''Shit, Cas.''

''The name clearly fits you.'' Castiel murmured, slowly wrapping his fingers around the base of his cock. ''-But you're right. Dean works better for you.''

Cas swirled his tongue around his head again, but only once. Damn, he was a cocktease.

''Besides…'' Castiel said, his eyes darkening. ''It wouldn't be appropriate to call you by your angelic name before you come in my mouth.''

All Dean could do was moan; ''Oh God.''

''No, Dean, that's blasphemy.'' Cas said, with a small smirk on his face.

''Caaas.'' Dean whined, throwing his head back. ''Please.''

''No, Dean. Eyes back at me- I want you to watch as I worship you.'' Worship? Damn, Dean liked they thought of that. He slowly turned his head back, looking down at the human.

Holding the base of his cock Castiel slid it _slowly_ into his mouth. Dean's knees buckled a little, but he recovered. Well, he tried to. He was whimpering like a fucking virgin.

''Oh fuck.'' Dean groaned. Fuck, Cas hadn't even started yet.

Castiel took him in deep, caressing the underside with his tongue, just like Dean had done to him a few days ago. Dean's hands came up and cradled the back of his head, not to push, but to just be there.

Castiel looked up at Dean, waiting for approval. He wanted to be good for Dean. He wanted to be the best.

''Yeah, just like that. You're doing great.'' Dean managed to get out, before going back to groaning.

He didn't expect to like it as much as he did; but he loved it. Being so full of Dean- it was wonderful. He sped up, sucked harder, and bobbed eagerly at the angel's cock. Dean kept tossing back; his breath stuttering as he clenched his hands into the sheets.

Then Castiel would pull away teasingly- Because Dean had to watch. He rubbed his thumb over his head, which would make Dean snap his eyes back to Castiel. And then he would go down again.

''S-shit, oh!''

Dean let out a series of shuddering gasps; He flicked his eyes down to meet Castiel's to make sure he was okay, and almost came right there from how Castiel was looking up him. Like Dean was the most _amazing_ thing he had ever seen. Sure, it was hot- but it actually kinda' warmed his heart. Fuck. He propped up on his elbows.

''God, yeah, suck that dick.'' He groaned, moving his hips a little.

Dean's hip movement drove Castiel mad; He grabbed Dean's hands and placed them on the back of his head, encouraging him to help him go deeper.

And who was Dean to refuse?

They got into a rhythm; Dean rolled his hips, tugging at Cas' hair, while Cas sucked him like a friggin' pornstar. Seriously, no gag reflex.

''Ohhhh God, your mouth Cas.'' Dean groaned, he was seeing starts now.

Castiel got out a muffled moan. Dean was close now, he could feel it. To experiment he rubbed his hole with his finger.

Dean gasped in surprise. ''Fuck, that's- God, you know exactly what to do to me.''

Castiel looked up at him and fucking smirked as he continued to rub his hole as he sucked and sucked, and sucked.

''Holy shit, I'm so close, Cas!'' Dean cried out shamelessly.

Then Cas put a finger in him, using his other hand to squeeze his balls, and that was it; He was coming.

''Cas!'' Dean practically shouted as he came; shooting warm, salty liquid down Cas' throat.

Cas didn't stop either, that kinky bitch. He kept sucking him until he'd gotten every drop of come. Dean didn't see stars anymore; He saw white. When Cas pulled out with a happy smile on his face, he allowed himself to slam down on the bed, tired from the orgasm.

Castiel lay down next to him, still with that big smile on his face.

''I'd do you too, but man, I'm too tired.'' Dean panted.

''It's alright.'' Castiel said, pointing at the wet crotch area on his pants. ''I… already ejaculated.''

Cas was actually blushing; how adorable. Still the same shy guy after sucking his dick like a pro. Damn he was a keeper.

''Why?'' Dean asked, wrapping his arms around him. ''Not that I complain or anything; but you took me by surprise just now.''

''You told me about the torture. You said it was your eight time.'' Castiel frowned lightly, brushing his thumb over Dean's cheek. ''You deserved this.''

''Cas, you don't have to blow me off just cause-''

''But I wanted to.'' Castiel cut him off, grinning widely again. ''It was quite pleasurable for me too.''

Then Dean pulled him in for a kiss; and they kissed for minutes. Small sweet, sensual teenage kisses.

''I missed you.'' Castiel whispered after a while of lying together in silence. ''When you left; I was a mess.''

''It was a day or two, Cas.'' Dean mumbled.

''Doesn't matter.''

''Yeah, I know. I missed you.'' Dean swallowed hard, trying to keep the emotions back.

''When this is all over I'll miss you even more.''

Dean didn't answer. He pulled Cas closer and ran his fingers through his hair.

He didn't want it to be over.


	8. Chapter 8

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER 8**

**I FEEL TERRIBLE YOU GUYS. I'm so sorry. Asdfdghrt. My holidays started one day before Christmas, so I'm gonna' update more frequently from now on. **

Dean didn't see Cas much after that; He was always busy, trying to hunt down Anna and find her grace. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done. Plus, the few times he saw Cas were enough. He was 99% sure the guy was on his period- Seriously, it was getting out of hand.

Alright so maybe he'd noticed when Cas went from being furious with him to giving him a blasphemous blowjob in only a few hours. The truth was he'd been too horny and happy to care- but now? The whole thing seemed kinda' off.

The human was normally so reserved and calm, but not anymore. Now every time Dean saw him he'd be pissed for some reason, then the next second he'd be sad, or horny. Sometimes he was just drunk. Dean would sigh and eat cheeseburgers with him, but he didn't want to take advantage of the guy, so there would be no more rolling in the sheets until he knew what the heck was wrong with him. Which was difficult when the human was practically stripping in front of him.

Then there was the hunting thing. For some damn reason Cas had decided to become a hunter, he'd even gotten Bobby to train him. Which was ridiculous in Dean's eyes. The poor guy had seen and heard about all the terrible crap that happened to hunters- and now he wanted to become one?

Friggin' fantastic.

Things weren't going to so well on the Anna part either. It was hard finding a fallen angel that had no memory of being an angel, especially when you had no idea how she looked like. For all he knew she could be a man by now. Or an animal

~.~.~.~

Castiel had grown rather fond of Bobby in the short time he'd been staying at his house. The man was old and grumpy, but his courage and his strange father-like love for Dean were admirable. He didn't talk much, not about feelings anyway. He talked a lot about how to hunt and kill monsters though. Castiel was fine with that, and to be honest it felt sort of nice. One minute he'd be happier than ever, and the next he'd be furious. Since he was neither pregnant, nor a teenage girl, he found it confusing.

Bobby wasn't Dean; He didn't want to 'shield' him from evil. Of course he hadn't told the angel that Bobby had started training him, he had a feeling he wouldn't take it so well. Besides, he barely ever saw Dean. The angel was always out looking for members to join his little rebellious group. So when he was actually there Castiel would rather just relax and eat with him, instead of burdening him with the hunting thing.

Someone he did see a lot, were (unfortunately) Gabriel and Balthazar. They were both rude, and loved teasing him about Dean. They were annoying, but for some reason he considered them friends. However, they weren't Dean.

He really missed Dean.

~.~.~.~

If someone had told Bobby Singer that he was gonna' be training a preacher to be a hunter a month ago, he would've snorted at the idea. It was damn ridiculous is what it was, but hey, who was he to say no. It turned out better than he expected; Cas handled the weapons pretty well, and he quickly learned all the sigils he needed to know. The guy loved the mythology though, and he sat up every night reading in his old lore books. He grew pretty fond of the kid, he sure was smarter than most idgits.

He hadn't told Dean; He knew the angel would throw a bitch-fit. Now that Cas had gotten an anti-possession tattoo he guessed the angel would find out anyway.

To heck with it, he thought as he handed Cas another bullet.

''You're doin' great, kid.''

''Thank you .''

''Now shut up and shoot better this time.''

~.~.~.~

Dean found Anna in a mental hospital. Unfortunately she thought she was a young human girl, and not an angel of the lord. This meant Dean had to make her remember, which meant he had to put his hand on her forehead and make her remember the day she ripped her graze out.

It wasn't nice, hearing her scream like that.

The good thing was that she remembered where she'd hid her graze. He found it quickly and handed it over with a smile.

''Here ya' go Anal.''

''I can see your sense of humor hasn't changed over the years.'' She smiled softly. ''You can go back to that human of yours now, at least for a while. I'm more than powerful enough to handle our small group of rebels.''

Dean sighed happily, flying off to Bobby's.

~.~.~.~

Castiel had decided to make a pie. Pie wasn't his favorite thing in the world, but from the moment he'd woken up he'd had this weird urge to make apple pie. So he did. The old drunk had laughed at him, making some comment about how Cas wasn't his wife. However he was determined to make this pie.

Call it faith, but just as he got the pie out of the oven he heard a deep chuckle behind him.

''I see you made pie.''

Castiel gasped, setting the pie down on the counter before turning around. He smiled softly. ''Hello, Dean. It's good to see you.''

''Yeah, you too.'' The angel was grinning widely as he moved closer. He was still handsome, but he looked worn out- Like he'd been worrying about something. ''We found Anna, she's going to take over for a while…''

''Does this mean you'll stay here then?'' Castiel asked, hopefully.

''Yeah.'' Dean nodded. ''Now give me some pie, I'm starving.''

~.~.~.~

Dean had no idea how Cas had known about his obsession with apple pie, but he didn't mind. The pie was perfect. It was crunchy, sweet, and orgasmic. It tasted homemade, like his vessel's mom used to make. He sighed happily when he was done.

Cas hadn't eaten a damn piece, that weirdo. He was sat there, staring at Dean with those big ridiculous eyes of his.

''Cas, it's good to see you to, but you're kinda' creeping me out with the staring thing.'' Dean commented.

The human shifted uncomfortably in his seat, obviously hesitating to tell him something. Eventually he rolled up his sleeve, revealing a-

An anti-possession tattoo.

Which could only mean one thing.

God damn it.

''God damn it, Cas!'' Dean grabbed his arm, staring down at the tattoo. ''What the hell is this?!''

He could see the human turn red, boiling with anger. Oh no, he'd released the kraken.

''It's an anti-possession tattoo, Dean. I'm a hunter now.'' The bastard said stubbornly, rolling his sleeve down again. ''And I expect you to respect my decision.''

''Respect your decision?'' Dean yelled. ''What the hell are you thinkin'? God damn it, I didn't think you were actually gonna' go through with the hunting crap! We've got demons all over the globe looking for you, waiting to kill you. What the fuck makes you want to become a hunter?!''

''I want to help people, Dean!'' They were both standing now, yelling at each other like an old married couple. ''I obviously can't be a priest anymore, but I still want to help people. I'm not going to sit here like some soldier's wife, waiting for you to come back from your angel business! I'm capable of being a hunter, Dean. I'm strong, I'm fast, and I've already killed a few vampires. Let the demons come! I want to be ready, I want to fight.'' Castiel pushed at his chest with a growl. ''I'm a hunter, and guess what? It's not your decision! You either accept it, or you don't, but it's not going to change a single thing. It's my life, and my decision.''

Castiel was panting, trying to get his breath back as he slumped back down on the couch again. His eyes were wet and red, tears were threatening to spill.

Again, mood changes, man-period.

The human was crying silently into his hands, his body was shaking. The angel sighed, sitting down next to him.

''I don't feel good.'' Castiel admitted, rubbing his eyes. ''I mean, there's something wrong with me. I don't… feel like myself. I cry, I yell, I drink… It feels like I'm changing.''

The angel sighed a second time, rubbing his back. ''Don't worry about it, Cas. We'll figure it out, okay? Until then…'' He stood up. ''Let's go draw some sigils.''

~.~.~.~

It'd been a nice day.

The baby was growing healthy and strong in his wife's stomach. They'd spent the last week fixing the nursery, it was perfect now. With green and yellow walls. Sam had gotten 7 months off work, just so he could help Jess through the first few months as a mom. He knew it would be hard, and he wanted to help her. Thankfully his boss was nice, he even decided to give him a bonus, so things would go easier with the baby. Which was a good thing, since all the baby stuff he came across was expensive as hell. They'd started going to a class that taught how to massage pregnant women. It came in handy when Jess woke up in the middle of the night, groaning in pain.

Sam had been taking cooking lessons too. His wife shouldn't have to do that after pressing out a child. The post-pregnancy time would be her time to relax. Jessica's father had laughed at him, said something about how unmanly it was of him to think like that. Well, if taking care of his wife was considered feminine, then he was feminine all right.

They were healthy, they were happy, and their lives were finally stable. They were right where they wanted to be. Everything else that had happened in the past was irrelevant.

That's what they thought, anyway.

Sam was currently decorating their Christmas tree, and Jess was watching him, with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand.

''I could help you with that, you know.'' She said, sighing.

Sam shook his head. ''No, you should relax. Besides, it's not like you'd reach up anyway.''

''You're a jerk.'' Jess said, laughing. She brought his hands down to her stomach. ''He's kicking.'' She grinned, kissing his cheek.

Sam chuckled softly. ''He's impatient.''

Jess groaned loudly. ''Well, so am I.'' She sat down in the couch. ''I'm so big, I feel like I'm going to explode.''

Sam kissed her softly. ''No, you're beautiful.''

Jess was just about to reply with something equally adorable, when a red-haired girl popped up out of nowhere.

''You're not safe. Come with me.''

There was a light. Then there wasn't.

They woke up in the middle of what looked like a worn out cabin.


	9. Chapter 9

**THE LOST ANGEL: CHAPTER NINE**

**Warnings; Torture of a small girl. Yes, I hate me too now. **

**I didn't edit this chapter, nor did I edit the last one- don't be too harsh.**

Dean had taught Cas some new sigils when they heard it. It was a loud thump and a small scream. They both hurried out to Bobby's living room, shocked at the sight that met them.

Anna was there, her arms were crossed and her face concerned.

Sam was on the floor, holding his pregnant wife in his arms. They looked confused, heck, they all did. Why would Sam have to be here? For what reason had Anna dragged them away from their perfect apple pie life? It had to be something bad. It just had to be.

''They're in danger.'' Anna spoke quickly. ''The demons found out you were there for a visit, now they're after them too. Good job, Dean. What were you thinking?!''

''How could I know that-''

He was cut off by Anna's loud yelling. ''How could you know? Dean, for father's sake, you're an angel! What did you think would happen, huh? You and Castiel are supposed to be hiding! Not bringing new people into this mess.''

''Quit telling me how to do my damn job!'' Dean yelled back, just as loud.

''Then start doing your damn job!''

''You don't know Cas like I do!''

''Just because you've fucked him doesn't mean you-''

Castiel had pulled Sam and Jess up from the floor by now, motioning for them to join him in the study. The couple followed after him, and he closed the door behind them. They could still hear the angels yell at each other, but he chose to ignore it.

The man, Sam, sighed. He looked tired, scared, confused… He couldn't blame him. His wife, Jess, was resting her hand on her stomach, looking out of the window with sad eyes.

''I'm Castiel.'' He said.

Sam smiled weakly, shaking his hand. ''Yeah, Dean told me about you. I'm Sam.''

''Yes.'' Castiel nodded. ''Dean told me about you.''

''Uh, merry Christmas.'' Sam said, smiling.

. ''It's Christmas?''

Jess was sat in Bobby's small lean chair. '' Yes, it's Christmas Eve actually. How long have you been here?''

''Longer than I thought, apparently.'' Castiel sighed, rubbing his temple. ''Well, happy Christmas I guess.''

There was an awkward silence.

''So…'' Sam mumbled. ''How are things between you and Dean?''

Castiel raised his eyebrows. ''They're good, I guess.''

''So you're together then.'' Jess smirked.

''What? No. Why would we? We're friends.'' Castiel sighed. He really didn't want to talk about his feelings for Dean. Jess and Sam were nice, but this was something he wanted to keep for himself.

~.~.~.~

_It was a girl. She was skinny, white and blond. She was only nine years old, just the way he liked it. The youngest were the best. They always screamed so sweetly when he cut through their pink flesh. They didn't have to much fat on their bodies, but their skin was easy to carve into. He smirked as the blood flowed out of her young body, making her pale and dry. He could see the color of her cheeks disappear, her eyelids closed, and she stopped breathing. _

''_Having fun, are we?''_

_He turned around, smiling as he put his tool down. _

''_Crowley, it's a... good to see you again. Here for another class?'' _

_The king of the crossroads rolled his eyes at him. ''As if.''_

_He smirked disgustingly, licking the blood of his tool. ''You shouldn't be so arrogant, dear. Have you forgotten who taught you?''_

_Crowley rolled his eyes. ''Oh please, you may have taught me a few things, but at least I don't get my suit dirty and full of blood. What you're doing is disgusting, it has no class.'' _

''_Disgusting?'' He chuckled deeply. ''Dear, the best part is getting your hands dirty.'' He crossed his arms. ''Surely you didn't come her to insult me, what is it?'' _

''_Castiel.'' Crowley said. _

''_Are you telling me you need help, Crowley?'' _

_The crossroads demon was red in his face, boiling with anger. ''Yes, I bloody am, alright? So will you help me, or are you just going to stand here wasting our time?!'_

''_Ask nicely.''_

'' _Help me and you'll get the angel, Dean. Can't say no to that, can you, Alastair?''_

_He'd wanted to torture an angel for a long time, never gotten the chance though, they were tricky things those angels…_

_He smirked, licking the caked and now dry blood away from his fingers. ''Oh, it will be an honor to help you, dear friend.'' _

_They shook hands. Crowley left with a curse as he wiped the blood off his hands._

~.~.~.~

What do you get when two angels, two hunters, a man and a pregnant woman try to celebrate Christmas Eve together? Fucking awkward is what you get.

He and Anna were clearly still pissed off at each other, glaring at each other while sipping their hot chocolate. Cas asked Jess questions about her pregnancy, Sam of course tried to get Cas to talk about his and Cas' relationship (Which was just fine, thank you very much). Bobby, of course, was drinking, complaining about his house not being a goddamn resort. The grumpy man loved having some company though, Dean could tell.

Dean decided to make things more interesting.

''So, Anna, Cas and I were hoping you could help him.'' Dean mumbled awkwardly when Sam and Jess was asleep, and Bobby was watching sports.

The redhead narrowed her eyes. ''Okay.''

Dean patted his friend on the back. ''Basically he's on his period. He's got it all- mood changes that happen in less of a minute, sensitivity issues etc.''

Castiel glared at him. ''It is not that bad!'' He snapped.

Dean gave Anna a look that said _See, I told you!_

She sighed. ''Right.''

Five minutes later, Castiel found himself tied to a chair, with a hand in his chest. The hand was currently moving around in his body, inside his soul. His screams were muffled by the cloth in his mouth, but the pain didn't go away.

After what felt like hours, Dean untied him. He collapsed on the floor, sweating and panting heavily. ''Please tell me you found something.''

Anna shook her head sadly. ''It's… It's similar to when an angel falls. Before an angel falls it… it goes through a phase of emotions. For example, if an angel rebels, it'll fall slowly. It becomes human in a slow and barely noticeable matter; it's like it gets drained. Before their final phase, right before they're completely human they go through a phase… It goes through all the human emotions all the time to get ready for life as a human.''

She sighed. ''But I checked, there's not a speck of angel in you, and there never was. Zero. So it can't be exactly that…'' She snapped her fingers, handing him a potion. ''This helps for angels in that situation, it sort of, makes you stabile. Balanced.''

Castiel sighed, stroking her palm. ''Thank you, you have been very helpful.''

''Yeah, Anna, thanks.'' Dean said. ''So, you leaving now or what?''

Anna smiled. ''Yes, Dean, I'm leaving.''

Dean and Castiel watched her leave.

Then it was just the two of them.

Alone.

''So…'' Dean mumbled. ''What do you think of Sam?''

Castiel smiled. ''I liked him. Though he reminded me of a mother nagging her son about how his relationship was going.''

Dean laughed at that. ''Yeah, I heard.'' He paused. ''Do we have to talk about it?''

''What's there to talk about?'' Castiel tilted his head. ''Surely we find each other attractive and enjoy one another's company. When this is over and you go back to Heaven I'll miss you, but that's just how it has to be. Right?''

Castiel looked at him pleadingly.

_Please say no. Please say you can stay with me. Or take me with you to Heaven. Please don't forget me. I won't be dead without you, but I will miss you. Please say no._

''Yeah.'' Dean said, biting his lip. ''Yeah, that's... how it has to be.'' He looked up.

Big mistake. Mistletoe.

''Oh.'' Castiel smiled softly. ''Mistletoe.''

''Yeah.'' Dean said. ''Just because it has to end doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves right now.'' He pulled him in for a chaste kiss.

Castiel blushed, stroking his cheek. ''I'm going to bed now, Dean. Goodnight.'' He smiled at the angel before leaving him alone in the living room. He went to the guest room and slept like a baby.

~.~.~.~

The next day was better. Still strange, but better.

It was Christmas Day. Sam was bummed out because all of their presents, including the ones for their baby, were under the tree in their living room. Jess, however, smacked his head and told him they had worse things to worry about.

They were all eating, drinking (well, not Jess, obviously), and enjoying themselves when Dean asked Cas to join him out in the kitchen. Castiel raised his eyebrows, but followed him anyway.

''Is something wrong?'' He asked, worried.

Dean shook his head, smiling. ''No, I just… I got you a Christmas present.''

''Oh.'' Castiel sighed. ''I didn't know we were… I didn't get you anything, I'm sorry. I didn't expect…''

Dean laughed. ''Relax, buddy, it's okay.'' He handed him a small package. ''Here, open it.''

Castiel did.

It was a necklace. Not just any necklace. The necklace Dean always wore, everywhere he went. The amulet. Castiel gasped. ''Dean… I can't have this.''

The angel nodded. ''it's yours now.'' When Cas didn't say anything he stepped forward, and helped him getting it on. He smiled. Castiel looked great in it.

''You look great in it.'' Dean said, patting his shoulder.

Castiel blushed. ''Thanks…''

Of course Sam chose to walk in on them while they were still having a moment.

''Hey guys. What's-'' Sam froze, gaping. He turned to Dean. ''You gave him your amulet?''

The angel shrugged. ''Yeah.''

Sam laughed, rolling his eyes.

''So, when's the wedding?''

Castiel blushed and Dean glared.

''Shut up, bitch.''

''Whatever, jerk.''

Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

**I don't even know anymore. Apparently I ship Crowley and Alastair.**


End file.
